I Think I'm Ready
by jessiestar
Summary: SPASHLEY...Spencer, Ashley and Aiden have grown up together as best friends but as they grow up and hormones flair friendships become complicated and relationships become impossible which causes Ashley to leave but after 3 years she comes home....R
1. Chapter 1

New story here so thanks for taking an interest and I hope you enjoy but if you don't then let me know so I can make it better or tell you to shut up,lol.

Chapter 1

Spencer was used to getting up late in fact it had become a new habit since she started college which was mostly due to the fact that she rarely went to bed before 4 am and if she did it was never to sleep. But now she was back in her little home town for the summer she had either had the choice of been woken by her seemingly non offensive alarm clock or by the overly annoying noise that insisted on coming out of her Mother's voice. Spencer loved her parents to bits but she just couldn't get used to living with them and couldn't bare to think that she had to spend the next 3 months here while she did work experience with a photographer who she was hoping would keep her so busy that the dismal thoughts of been stuck in Youngtown, Ohio would be less painful. After finally making herself look what she considered hot Spencer made her way down the stairs to see that the house was actually empty and peaceful which meant that she could sneak out the back of the house for a cigarette, one of the secrects that Spencer would not be confessing to her parents.

As Spencer sat in the old tree that was down the side of her family home she lazyily watched the street wondering if anything interesting ever happened or if they saved all the excitement for when she was away at College. Spencer's ponderings were interrupted when she spotted a very familiar car drive by in fact it was a black Porsche Carrera to precise. Spencer tried to focus on who was driving the car but the sun bounced off the windscreen almost blinding her and nearly causing her to fall the 10 feet from the tree branch. Luckily she managed to keep her balance and also managed to spot her parents pulling into the drive as she was finishing her smoke. Spencer used the ladders next to the tree to get down so she could greet her parents.

"Hey Spence" Mr Carlin yelled from behind the giant SUV obviously unloading shopping.

"Hey Dad do you need a hand?" Spencer asked back as she made her way over slowly hoping that the wind will blow any essence of cigarette smell off her.

"Thanks honey can you just grab those two bags" Arthur asked pointing with his chin. Ashley did as instructed and followed her Dad through the house into the kitchen dropping the bags on the side.

"Hey Mom" Spencer said spotting her Mother amongst the shopping.

"Oh Hi Honey....thank you for helping. Are you about tonight?" Paula asked without looking up from her organising.

"No I doubt it...think I might go to Greys and she some friends. I think Aiden's back from School today so will probably see him" Spencer lied or hoped she wasn't too sure which but what she did know is that her Mom was clearly having a dinner party of some description hense the mountains of food and Spencer didn't want to be around that.

"Oh Aiden's a lovely boy...you know Spence if he's still single you two should get back together"Paula knew this would never happen and Arthur knew that a war of words was about to begin.

"Yea if only he didn't have a penis" Spencer deap panned.

"Spencer Carlin you cannot use such a word in my house" Paula snapped.

"Oh God...Mother you are an adult and a doctor so you should be fully aware that Penis is the biological name for the male genetalia. Also I am a lesbian Mom which Aiden is not...in fact Aiden is a boy, a boy who like myself is sexually attracted to girls. Neither of us will be changing anytime soon so please drop it" Spencer tried to remain calm and remembered that this would be the only discussion they would have to have on the topic for at least another month.

"I was just saying he's a nice guy and that you two were cute together" Paula added sounding like a scorned child.

"Yes but we were both also in love with the same girl who had no interest in either of us so obviously not that cute or perfect" Spencer snapped not wanting to think about what happened back at the end of her senior year.

"I'm sorry Spence...It just takes some getting used to honey" Paula gave her daughter a kiss and a hug. Spencer accepted the apology as she knew that her mother was still getting around the whole gay even though Spencer had come out nearly 3 years ago, just after prom.

"It's fine Mom...I shouldn't have overreacted. I'm going to head over to Aiden's and see if he's home. Don't wait up and have fun at your dinner party" Spencer grabbed her car keys and headed out. She climbed into her soft top mini cooper which was a graduation gift from her old brother Glen. He had done well with basketball since college and he needed a reason to show off not that Spencer minded. She climbed into her car bringing the top down and pulled straight off the drive. Once she was at a safe distance from her parents house she lit another cigarette feeling anxious after the little run in with her mother and also the mistaken identity of the Porche. Spencer had no idea why but she decided to do a quick pit stop on the way to Aidens. She drove down the familiar street that she had spent most of her child hood playing down. She stopped outside the house with the long, drive way that led to the corner house and as if time had been turned back a few years Spencer saw the Black Porche Carrera but she didn't stop instead she drove off and headed over to Aiden's.

Spencer didn't slow down until she got to the saftey of Aiden's front drive. She jumped out her car without putting the roof back up. Spencer had spent so much time around Aiden's when they were growing up that she didn't even bother knocking the front door she just headed straight through to the back yard hoping that he would be about. Just as Spencer had thought Aiden was sat by the pool listening to music. Spencer sat down on his sun chair waiting for him to register that she was there.

"Hey Spence" Aiden finally said without moving.

"Guess what?" Aiden sat up once Spencer had asked that question becuse that was normally her way of softening the blow for bad news.

"What happened?"

"She's back..."Spencer said simply figuring that Aiden would know who she was talking about immediately.

"Ashley?" Aiden queried.

"Pretty sure....I saw her driving past my house earlier and then I just drove past her place to see and her car was there"

"Spence that could've been anyone's car" Aiden tried to rationlise.

"Yea you're right why don't you go there and knock on the door"

"No offence Spencer and I know she hurt us both but she had to come back at some point"

"No she didn't"

"Spence her Mom still lives here of course she was going to visit at some point"

"Why are you so calm?"

"Because I've moved on Spence and you have too. It was really hard for me but I've met a few girls' and I'm having fun"

"Aiden you sleep around which is probably to do with how much we fucked you over back then but I know you're right and you seem happy....ok I'm letting it go. You wanna go to Grey tonight to see everyone?"

"Defiantely...let me take a shower and we'll get going" Aiden said with a smile hoping that his words had calmed his friend. Aiden was hurt when everything went down but he knew that Spencer had come off worse because she had more invested in her feelings for Ashley.

_flash back:3 years just a normal saturday night_

_"Come on Ash are you ready?"Spencer yelled down the long hall way of the Davie's mansion. Aiden was supposed to be picking them up in 5 minutes and Spencer was pretty sure that Ashley was nowhere near ready especially if past experience was anything to go by. But as Spencer went to open the door Ashley finally appeared wearing skinny fit jeans, a band t-shirt and her hair was perfectly messy with loose curls framing her face. Spencer swallowed her breathe as he took in the sight of her best friend. Ashley smiled her perfect smile as she noticed Spencer's reaction and knew that she would get the same reaction from her boyfriend._

_"You look great Ash.."Spencer finally managed as Ashley walked close enough that Spencer could feel her sweet breath on her cheeks._

_"So do you Spence.....we should...erm"Ashley was stuttering which was something that Spencer knew she only did when she was extremely nervous. Ashley had nothing to be nervous about they were only going to Grey and they always went there on a Saturday night. Spencer could tell that there was something new for both of them to be nervous about but they both did their best to ignore it._

_"We should go...Aid will be waiting" Spencer said suddenly remembering that the girl that gave her butterflies wasn't just her best friend of over 10 years but was also her other best friends girl friend. Spencer, Aiden and Ashley have been besy friends since they were 4 years old but last year Ashley and Aiden became a couple. The group dynamics hadn't really changed but how Spencer felt about Ashley had even though she wasn't reall sure what those feelings were. Spencer wasn't 100% sure but she had a feeling that Ashley was starting to see her differently aswell._

_"Spence?" Ashley whispered as the two girls stood inches from each other. Spencer looked up her eyes meeting Ashley's chocolate eyes with golden flecks and she knew in that moment that Ashley was sharing all the thoughts that she had been having recently._

_"Yea?"Spencer asked nervously but it seemed like Spencer's voice had scared Ashley back to her senses and the golden flecks in her eyes seemed to dissapear._

_"I think I might go all the way with Aiden tonight" Ashley words felt to Spencer like she had been kicked in the gut but she tried her best to fight that showing on her ever so readible face._

_"Good for you..." Spencer replied finally turning away and heading down the hall way wanting to leave the moment behind. Ashley caught up with her and grabbed her hand stopping Spencer in her tracks. Spencer spun around with a look of pure anger on her face an expression that Ashley rarely saw._

_"I didn't mean that" Ashley admitted._

_"Well you've been dating now for like a year now so it wasn't really a surprise Ash" Spencer replied trying to matain some cool and assuming that she had failed miserably._

_"What does it even matter to you anyway?"Ashley snapped back in frustration knowing how to deal with what was happening less than Spencer did._

_"It doesn't matter Ash, in fact I couldn't care less. Actually new rule to our 'friendship' you have no obligations to tell me about what you and Aiden get up to in biblical way or otherwise"Spencer stopped herself from yelling but her words were far from hushed. This time she didn't walk off she waited for Ashley's response._

_"Spence I don't know what's going on here"Ashley confessed in a less angry voice than what she had been using previously._

_"Nothing is going Ashley....look I'm going to go home so you guys can have fun. I'm not in the mood tonight"_

_"But I want you to come out"_

_"Ashley we're not kids anymore....you and Aiden need to be an actual couple rather than a part of some weird threesome. It's time to grow up and move on" Spencer had always loved being around her best friends all the time but things had never been the same since Aiden and Ashley got together and everybody knew it._

_"What if I don't want to move on?" Ashley barely let the words leave her mouth but her eyes gave her away again because the golden flecks were back._

_"You need to figure it Ashley....Aiden loves you and...and...you need to be careful not to hurt him"_

_"And what about you?"Ashley asked knowing that there should've been more to Spencer's setence._

_"I'm just everybody's friend Ash and I'm ok with that"_

_"I don't think I am" Ashley replied kissing Spencer causing a shock to run through both girls' bodies. Niether of them had kissed a girl before but it seemed natural to Spencer so natural that she almost didn't here Aiden calling their names from the stairs. Ashley immediately shot apart from Spencer and avoided eye contact as she headed down the hall way. Spencer knew that Ashley automatically regretted what had just happened and knew now that she should leave. Spencer glumly followed Ashley down stairs just in time to see her jump into Aiden's clumsy arms where there shared kiss. Spencer felt sick at a sight she had seen a thousand times before but this time it was worse._

_"Hey Aid...guys I'm going head home. I don't feel good and you know" Spencer walked past the blissful couple and headed straight to her car before could convince her otherwise with his big, dumb grin. Spencer realised she wasn't going to get away that lightly when Aiden appeared at the front door jogging to her car._

_"You ok?"Aiden asked oblivious._

_"I'll be fine....just suddenly felt sick. You two go out and have fun without me...go on Aid" Spence replied trying not to worry the boy that had chased away bullies at the park when they were 7. The boy that she loved so dearly and sometimes wished that she loved in the same way that other girls' her age loved handsome boys. Spencer looked past Aiden to see Ashley stood silently at the door avoiding eye contact. Spencer smiled at Aiden and started the engine of her old jeep quickly clearing the drive._

Spencer's memories were interrupted by Aiden throwing a pillow at her trying to get her attention.

"You ready cinderella?"Spencer joked knowing that Aiden would take more time to get ready than her and she didn't rush.

Spencer drove them to Grey and hoped that there would be somebody who would be nice enough to drive her back there tomorrow to get car back. She pulled up in her usual space and rolled her eyes as she noticed the queue to get in but considered the fact the this is the only night club for over 20 odd miles. Spencer also knew that she wouldn't have to queue because she had slept with the woman who owns the club last summer so she had a free pass with security.

"Hey Eddie...hows everything?"Spencer asked sweetly as she sent a little cheeky waive to the queing massed. Eddie rolled his eyes at Spencer's blatant mocking of the people queing.

Spencer weeved through the crowds expertly with Aiden in tow knowing that at this moment in time they were both probably checking out the same girls. Spencer made it to the bar but as she saw who the bar maid was she quickly made her way to the back bar.

"What was with the quick exit back there?" Aiden yelled above the loud music.

"I may have had a thing with her the other night..."Spencer started explaining but soon stopped when they got to the back bar. Spencer grabbed two bottles of beer and headed to the garden where there was plenty of room. Spencer grabbed a table and they sat down.

"Continue with your story please Miss Carlin"

"Ok I went back to her house, we were about to you know but I had to pee...i know gross..blahh. So on the way to the bathroom I bumped into her house mate who was way hotter so I decided to just sleep with her instead" Spencer cringed at her own bad behaviour and sometimes wished that she wasn't so badly behaved.

"Spence....I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed" Aiden giggled.

"Me neither dude" Spencer replied as she went to grab her cigarettes from her hand bag. As she was lighting her cigarette her eyes focused on someone she didn't want to see. Across the garden sat talking with Chelsea was Ashley Davies. Spencer swallowed hard until their eyes met at that point Spencer forgot how to breathe which was one of the many side effects she experiences around Ashley.

_Flashback still the same night 3 years ago._

_Spencer lay in bed going over what had happened earlier and she wasn't too sure whether she regretted or whether it was the greatest thing ever. Spencer was trying her best to get to sleep _

_but she couldn't get rid of the images that were swirling around her head in vivid, bright colours that exencuated every ounce of pain she was currently feeling. Spencer wished that she could just squash her feelinsg for Ashley and that she could love somebody else, somebody who would feel the same back. Spencer's thoughts were imposed upon by some tapping on her bedroom window and it wouldn't go away no matter how hard Spencer closed her eyes. Spencer stumbled out of bed to the window struggling to lift it up due to her body more than likely being asleep. Once she managed to unblur her eyes Spencer realised that it was Ashley that had interrupted her Ashley thoughts. Ashley reluctantly opened the window feeling that she had experience enough soul destroying for one evening._

_"Ash it's late" Spencer whispered hoping not to wake up her parents._

_"Come Spence I need to talk to you....you need to talk to me" Ashley whispered back as she started climbing the ladder the lent against the tree. Ashley knew would always pop over for midnight chats to Spencer and they would sit on the tree branch that lead to Spencer's bedroom window. Ashley slowly approached the window but lost her footing which caused her to fall through the window landing on Spencer in a heap. Ashley started giggling because she knew that any minute Mr and Mrs Carlin would appear like they always did if things got too noisy._

_"Where are your parents?" Ashley asked after a while of lying on the floor next to Spencer._

_"They're not here....they've gone to visit Glen" Spencer replied not turning to look at the girl lying next to her._

_"Then why were you whispering?"_

_"I was hoping that if I whispered you'd think you'd get into trouble and leave"_

_"That's very devious of you Miss Carlin"_

_"Why you here Ash and where's Aiden?"_

_"He's at home and I'm here because I had to talk to you. i feel really bad about what happened Spencer..."_

_"I'm over it...it was just an accident"_

_Ashley looked almost offended by Spencer's new dismissive attitude and this was apparent in her facial expression. Ashley rolled on to her side so she was leaning towards Spencer and looking her directly in the eye again and straight away Spencer saw thise golden flecks that she loved so much._

_"Spence...it wasn't an accident" Ashley confessed as if the words had stumbled off her tongue. The words Spencer almost pass out as she was never prepared for her love to be requited._

_"Ashley it was..you don't have to say this to make me feel better. You love Aiden and that's ok"_

_"No I don't Spence...I never have and never will. We just fell together because it was easy and I know he feels that too. Me and you Spence....we..it's almost electric" Ashley didn't lose focus on Spencer once and her stare only became more intense. Spencer couldn't hide her shock any more and didn't know whether she had actually fallen to sleep and that she was about to have a very interesting dream._

_"Are you drunk?" Spencer asked thinking that this would be the only explanation._

_"No I'm 100%sober Spence. It's You and Me Spence...it always has been. I want you and I don't want to fight it anymore" Ashley advised as she finally leaned over and kissed Spencer just as passionately as previously that night. Spencer didn't know if this change of heart was going to last so she didn't say anything she just kissed the girl she loved back. Spencer carefully let her hands explore Ashley's body and after a while slowly removed her t-shirt. Ashley responded by climbing on top of Spencer and kissing her neck. Spencer arched her back into Ashley as the kisses sent bolts of electricity down her spine._

Spencer snapped herself out of her memories and tried not to remember the perfect night but instead remembered the neglect and heartbreak that was soon to follow. Aiden finally caught up with what well who Spencer was staring at. Spencer took a drag on her cigarette and flicked it into the ashtray not realising that she had smoked the whole thing. Aiden finally tore her stare away from Spencer but grabbing her hand to take her away. Spencer fought back all the emotions that were rushing over her in that moment and for first time in 3 years Spencer had seen the girl with golden flecks in her eyes, the girl who broke her heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for great response keep it up

Chapter 2

"Aid what are you doing?"Spencer snapped as she struggled her arm free from Aiden's grasp.

"Spence I was taking you away so we can decide what to do" Aiden explained obviously talking about Ashley.

"Well acting cool is no longer an option" Spencer joked.

"Spencer I'm cool with just leaving but it's up to you" Aiden was looking from upset than Spencer had tought he ever would and she wasn't even sure how she felt yet because all she could remember was how good everything felt that night.

"Look there's Madison and Carmen let's go talk to them. This is our club Aiden so there's no reason why we should run or hide" Spencer explained as she waved at her friends. Everybody shared hugs and kisses due to the fact they hasn't seen each other since christmas.

"So have you heard?"Madison barely whispered looking at the two best friends.

"Yep and she's sat in the garden with Chelsea"Aiden answered for both of them

"Why is Chelsea talking to her?"Madison asked with every spot of venom she could muster.

"I guess she didn't do anything to hurt anybody else" Spencer rationalised not wanting to cause a rift in her small but close group of friends.

"You say that....oh well we need drinks and some girls' to distract you two" Madison announced raising one eyebrow at Aiden. Spencer knew full well that Madison and Aiden would hook up this summer like they did every summer when they ran out of randoms to hook with or just couldn't be bothered with all the games. Spencer had a simliar 'arrangement' with Carmen last summer but the lines got blurred and Spencer didn't do blurred lines.

"Ok get me 3 shots of aftershock blue...and vodka please...oh and whatever you guys want. I need to go pee" Spencer said as she passed Carmen a 50. Spencer pushed through the crowd checking out the few girls she didn't recognise noticing some cute girls that she would definately try to talk to. Spencer was relieved to see there was no queue for this paticular rest room mostly because nobody really knew it existed as it was kind of hidden. Spencer pushed the door open and entered the hot pink rest room taking in face that stood stunned in front of her. Spencer's eyes met Ashley's for a few seconds until Spencer broke the gaze as she darted into the stall closest to her. Spencer hoped naively that Ashley hadn't seen her but knew this wasn't the case.

"Spencer I saw you go in there" Ashley yelled at the door in frustration she knew this would never be easy but she was hoping that all parties might be slightly more mature. Ashley sat on the sink outside the toilet that Spencer was still hiding in.

"I'm not leaving Spencer until you come out" Ashley sighed.

Spencer swallowed hard as Ashley's raspy voice filled her head almost making her dizzy. Spencer wasn't ready for any of this and just wanted to escape but she knew that Ashley was just as stubborn as her if not more.

"Can we do this another time?I'm kind of busy" Spencer finally replied trying to sound relaxed and nochalant.

"Spence I can see your feet and I know you're standing up. Just come out and I'll leave"

"That would be something new..." Spencer muttered to herself under her breathe hoping that Ashley would hear the remark. Spencer unlocked the door and came face to face with Ashley again. She carefully studied the shorter girls face and took in the small changes in her over all appearance. Firstly she no longer had red steaks in her dark hair in fact in was all one colour and the golden flecks were more prominant than Spencer ever remembered. Spencer looked at Ashley willing her to leave but she didn't budge.

"I heard that by the way" Ashley finally said showing a slight smile in the corners of her mouth noticing her much Spencer looked annoyed at her. Not that Ashley wanted Spencer to be mad or angry but it showed that she still cared which all Ashley needed to know.

"Good I said it out loud. You can leave now..." Spencer's mood suddenly changed. Ashley noticed the abruptness in Spencer's voice and she realised just how hurt Spencer was behind the bravado.

"Spence I need to explain" Ashley begged fighting the lump in her throat.

_Flashback 3 years ago_

_Ashley was too scared to open her eyes because she knew when she did that everything that happened last night would be real and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. Admitting defeat she finally opened her eyes to see Spencer lying peacefully asleep next to her and couldn't help be overwhelmed by the emotions that were screaming through her body. She knew that she loved the perfect blonde girl that was lying next to her and she had known for a while in fact she had known for too long. Ashley had seen the way that he best friend has started looking at her because it was the same way that she looked at Spencer when she thought she wasn't looking. But Aiden was also looking at Ashley in the same way and knowing that she could handle what Aiden had to offer she took the easy route. The day that Ashley and Aiden had told Spencer she could see the hurt in Spencer's big blue eyes but she ignored it just like she had done the previous evening when Spencer left her house. Ashley loved Aiden but she wanted Spencer and last night she had let those feelings win but now she regretted it knowing that every second after this was going to be difficult._

_Ashley pushed aside her unspoken love for Spencer and carefully freed her hand from Spencer's. Feeling her stomach sink as she moved carefully from the bed but knowing that she was doing the right thing for everyone...or maybe just for herself. Ashley kissed Spencer on the head trying not to disturb her knowing that explaining her sudden actions would be painful. Ashley climbed back through the all familiar window fighting back the tears that were blurring her vision. She managed to leave unnoticed and just headed home as quickly as her legs could carry her knowing that she had to make a clean break._

"Ermm you're about 3 years too late for that and I don't want to hear it so just go away" Spencer spat as she started to walk off.

"Spence I'm back for good so you're going to have to deal with me at some point"

"No I don't...in fact in about 3 months I'll be gone again. You've avoided me for 3 years so I'm pretty sure I can avoid you for 3 months"

"Gone where?"Ashley asked with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"If you'd stuck around then you'd know"

"If I'd stuck around I'd know everything about you"

"Well you made your choice and I'm making mine"Spencer tried to leave again but Ashley instinctly grabbed her arm. Spencer shot Ashley a death stare which made Ashley automatically recoil.

"Spence...please give me a chance"Ashley begged again.

"I already gave you that chance Ashley and you blew it. You left.....you just went....ugh God I don't want to do this right now" Spencer fought back a stray tear and left the rest room heading straight outside hoping to avoid anyone she might know. Spencer grabbed her cigarettes from her bag and lit one straight away.

_Spencer stirred while placing her arm across her bed searching for the body that was now missing. Spencer opened her eyes and scanned the sunshine soaked room noticing straight away that Ashley's clothes were gone. Spencer grabbed her cell phone and dialed Ashley's number not expecting it to go directly to voicemail. In frustration Spencer dialled Aiden's number but immediately stopped when the guilt of what she had just done hit her almost knocking her off her feet. Spencer say on the edge of her bed letting the tears that were mostly guilt related at the moment flow from her bleary eyes. Spencer tried to make sense of what had happened and how she had let it happen but she knew that no matter who Ashley was with she was never going to fight it when it finally happened. Spencer's self pity was interrupted by Aiden calling her which she considered ignoring but she knew that Aiden wouldn't be calling at 7am unless it was an emergency._

_"Hey Aid" Spencer answered calmly._

_"I just got this cryptic letter through my door from Ashley" Spencer swallowed hard as she imagined what that letter might say._

_"She's left...." Aiden said obviously feeling emotional._

_"What?...but...why?"Spencer asked letting the emotion strain her voice._

_"She's gone to live with her Dad...and said that she couldn't be with me anymore and that she was in love with somebody else" Spencer felt like vomiting"_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Spencer hung up on Aiden and threw on some sweats while trying to climb out her bedroom window. Spencer knew that Ashley had only been gone an hour or so which meant that there was no way she could've left yet mostly because there's no way that Ashley Davies was packing lightly to go to LA. Spencer jogged down the empty, quiet street cutting around the back way that led to Ashley's road. Spencer smiled to herself as she saw that Ashley's Porche was still parked in it's usual place. Spencer slowed down to a fast walk so she wasn't out of breathe when she spoke to Ashley. Spencer let herself in ignoring the maid that was loitering around the lobby and went straight to Ashley's room without knocking Spencer walked in. Ashley looked like a dear caught in head lights when she turned around to she a slightly red looking Spencer stood in her room. Ashley dropped whatever clothes she was packing and sat in complete silence not knowing what to do or say._

_"Spence...."Ashley finally croaked out._

_"What the hell Ash?"Spence snapped back signalling to the packed suitcases._

_"I....we...you...this can't happen"Ashley stuttered causing Spencer to flinch at the words._

_"Well it already did Ash and now we need to deal with it"_

_"There's nothing to deal with Spence...it happened and now it's over"_

_"No it's not you're just scared"_

_"I'm not scared I'm fucking terrified Spence. I have no idea how i let this happen...it was perfect with Aiden.."_

_"It can't have been that perfect Ash otherwise you wouldn't have spent the night with me" Spencer interrupted seeing through the lies that Ashley was telling her._

_"That was a mistake"_

_"You don't mean that"Spencer was now really try to hold everything back especially the tears that were starting to swell._

_"God...you're right I don't mean that..last night was incredible but it shouldn't have happened. It's not right and I love Aiden"_

_"I love Aiden too but I'm in love with you Ashley and last night pretty much confirmed that for me. I know it's new and strange but iit's right for us whether you believe that now or not. If you don't feel the same then tell me now and I'll leave....just please stay, don't hurt me and Aiden..."_

_"I don't feel the same Spence...I'm sorry"_

_"That's fine...please go tell Aiden that you love him and want him then before you really hurt him" Spencer demanded as she left the house letting the tears flow. Spencer felt used and guilty at the same time. She had managed to hurt Aiden by sleeping with the love of his life and Ashley was just using her for her own fun. Spencer still wanted Ashley to stay even if it was only for Aiden's sake because he didn't deserve any of this. As she made her way back over to her house Spencer rang Aiden to tell him to go see Ashley._

_"Spence?"_

_"Hey dude...I've spoken to Ash and she didn't mean it..any of it"_

_"I don't understand"_

_"I think she's just scared of how much she loves you and it was easier to run than to see it through" Spencer couldn't help but feel the irony of her words but she wanted to make her friend feel better._

_"I don't know what to do.."_

_"Just go see her...that's all you'll need to do"_

_"You ok Spence?"Aiden asked noticing how shakey her voice was._

_"I'll be fine...I'm just tired"_

_"K love you friend" Aiden said easily accepting Spencer's lies as he hung up the phone. _

Spencer put out her cigarette on the wall and went to head back but was stopped by a slightly shorter figure stood next to her.

"Just checking you didn't fall in" Carmen joked as she eyed Spencer.

"Thanks...just needed some air" Spencer replied as her eyes spotted Ashley walking towards her. Spencer made the regrettable decision to start up something that she had spent most of last summer avoid another conversation with Ashley she grabs Carmen and pulls her in for a passionate over the top kiss. Carmen didn't fight it which Spencer already knew before it happened. The kiss worked perfectly as Spencer saw the look on Ashley's face so she pulled away from Carmen to smirk at Ashley.

"What are you doing Spence?"Carmen asked but before Spencer could reply Ashley was already walked straight over to Spencer pulling her away from Carmen by her arm. Spencer yanked her arm free again and stared solemnly at Ashley.

"Do you mind?"Spencer snapped.

"Spencer I'm not going to leave until we talk about this" Ashley replied in a slightly more stern voice than she was using earlier.

"Wow you have turned over a new leaf"Spence replied sarcastically but no matter how much she thought she should walk off for some reason she couldn't.

"I get you're still mad at me, I really do but I'm here now so you're going to have to deal with it. I want to be your friend again"

"I have enough friends thank you..."Spencer replied as she shared a look with Carmen.

"You don't like her Spence..." Ashley said as she noticed the shared glance.

"How would you know?"

"Because....because you don't look at her how you used to look at me" Ashley confessed knowing that the words would definately hurt Spencer.

"Just stay away from me Ashley" Spencer replied with every bit of anger she was able to find. Spencer didn't want to be around Ashley now and her legs finally took control taking her away from the girl that had definately broken her heart. Spencer ignored Carmen's desperate look adn completely bypassed her group of friends instead she went straight out the front of the club. Without looking back she got into her car and drove off.

Aiden spotted his friend making a swift exit and tried to follow her but managed to bump into the one person that he didn't want to talk to.

"Leave her alone Ashley"Aiden snarled as he stood between the front door and Ashley.

"I'm just trying to make it better"

"You can't Ash...you broke her..you broke both of our hearts"Aiden said trying to keep his cool mostly becasue he was mostly over what had happened but it still hurt sometimes.

"I didn't mean to Aiden....I didn't know what else to do"

"You could've been honest or at least kind"

"I'm sorry Aiden I know I hurt you too but I just want....I want her....I want her to forgive me" Ashley finished the sentence quickly when she noticed that Aiden's eyebrow raised when she said want.

"Ashley you know what Spencer's like...you need to give her time"

"And you?"

"I accept your apology but this doesn't make everything that happened go away"

"Trust me I know that"

_FLASHBACK_

_Aiden found Ashley sat on the giant stairwell of her mansion obviously waiting for him to come. Aiden immediately noticed the tears in his girlfriend's eyes and all he could do was comfort her from whatever was making her sad. Aiden put his giant arms around her and pulled her in close hoping that the comfort of his body would help._

_"I'm sorry Aiden....I..didn't mean it" Ashley finally said in between sobs._

_"I understand...Spencer explained everything to me" Aiden's words caused Ashley to sit up straight and the tears turned to pure fear._

_"What did she say?" Ashley asked trying to act calm._

_"Just that you're scared by how much you love me and you didn't know how to deal with it" Aiden explained with a big goofy smile on his face. The goofy smile used to melt Ashley until she started noticing the little things about Spencer like her light, blue eyes or the way she giggled so nobody could hear her. The fact that Spencer had said these things to Ashley made her insides tear apart with guilt and regret knowing that Spencer would put what she felt aside for a relationship that Ashley wasn't sure she wanted. Ashley tried ignore her doubts about Aiden but she knew that this was only happening because she was a coward and didn't want people to not like her for who she really was._

_"Spencer is right....she knows me so well"_

_"Wish I got you in the same way" Ashley couldn't help but agree with the statement._

Spencer headed home but instead of going into the house realising that it was only 11.30 so her parents guests would still be there she decided to listen to her ipod in the tree. She expertly climbed the tree and plugged her ipod into her ears mindlessly flicking through the random songs. Spencer didn't notice that she was being joined in the tree until she felt the weight of the branch shift.

"I really do not want to deal with round 3 already Ash" Spencer said rolling her eyes ut secretly commending the girl for her persistency and courage.

"Just shut up and listen Carlin"

Spencer just nodded.

"I miss my best friend and want her back"

"She's gone Ashley...she's all grown up now and doesn't do drama or bullshit"

"What happened to her?"

"She got her heartbroken by somebody that didn't deserve to have it in the first place" Spencer replied swinging her legs knowing that she would've just hurt Ashley's feelings.

"I didn't deserve your heart Spence...I barely deserved your friendship but I miss it so much"

"Well you shouldn't have left and you'd still have it"

"God I know that...please give me a break I'm trying" Ashley begged but Spencer avoided looking at her as she stared into the diamond sprinkled sky.

_FLASHBACK_

_As Spencer watched Aiden and Ashley dance with one another she couldn't help but think about the night a few weeks ago when she was that close to Ashley. Spencer couldn't get the girl out of her head but had spent the past few weeks trying to avoid any alone time with either of the especailly happy couple. Spencer decided to put herself out her misery and go to the bar to try out her new fake id on the new barmaid._

_"Can I get a vodka/cranberry please?"Spencer asked trying to be casual but the barmaid had already decided that she was far too yong for the vodka part of her order._

_"Got any ID?"The dark haired girl from behind he bar asked taking a special interest in Spencer._

_"Yea sure..one sec" Spence replied calmly taking the small rectangle from her purse and passing it to the bar maid. Spencer swallowed hard as she prayed that the card worked and that Glen hasn't screwed up._

_"Isn't Spencer a boys name?"The girl asked looking Spencer directly in the eyes._

_"So I've heard...I think I pull it off though" Spencer replied confidently._

_"Yea it suits you but the ID is fake Spencer..."_

_"It is not....ok it is but you can't blame me for trying"Spencer giggled._

_"I'm supposed to destroy this but you look cute in the picture so I might keep it" The girls remarked shocked Spencer as she had never been hit on before by another girl other than Ashley but that didn't count._

_"It's got my cell number on there in case you're wondering"Spencer had no idea where her new found confidence came from but she liked it and she did this girl apparently._

_"I get off in 5 minutes and I have a real ID so meet me outside"_

_"Ok..."Spencer leaned to look at the girls name tag but was interrupted by the girl kissing her rather passionately leaving Spencer completely shellshocked but in the best way possible._

_"Demi" The girl said as she wondered off up stairs signalling the end of her shift. Spencer couldn't believe her luck as she headed over to her friends to tell them that she was heading off. Spencer approached the table but only Ashley was sat there looking less than happy._

_"Hey I'm leaving in a minute so I'll see you guys another time" Spencer said as she grabbed her jacket but Ashley wouldn't budge._

_"Who's she?"Ashley asked with all the venom of a jealous girlfriend._

_"Demi...we're just going to hang out"_

_"You just kissed her in front of everybody"Ashley replied pointing out the obvious._

_"Yea it was great"_

_"Spence she's just using you"_

_"You'd know Ash and what's it got to do with you?"Spencer snapped back getting annoyed but pleasantly surprised at Ashley's jealous behaviour._

_"I'm just looking out for my friend"_

_"Too late for that...why don't you focus on your boyfriend"Spencer suggested and went to leave only to be grabbed by Ashley and pulled to a dark corner of the club._

_"What the hell Ash?"_

_"I'm just looking out for you"_

_"NO you're acting jealous which is stupid"_

_"I can't help it"Ashley answred dipping her head in shame as if she never wanted to guess this emotion she was feeling._

_"Well you'll have to deal with Ashley because I'm leaving with her and you're leaving with Aiden"_

_"Aiden's already left"_

_"Why?"_

_"I told him that I needed to talk to you about some stuff so he left to give us some girl time"Ashley explained raising her eyebrow in a very seducative manner at the end of the setence shocking Spencer._

_"It's not happening Ash because you'll just leave like you did last time...and I don't want to anymore"Spencer lied which Ashley caught on to quite easliy using her looks to her advantage Ashley slowly moved her hand softly down Spencer's side skimming her hips with her finger tips. Noticing that Spencer's breathing had changed Ashley gentlely pressed her body against Spencer, leaning in breathing softly against her ear sending volts through her body. Spencer couldn't resist anymore and she grabbed the girl who drove her insane and kissed her with every ounce of passion she had in her. Taking Ashley's face in her hands and pushing her against the wall that they were hiding behind. As they rushed to get a cab back to Ashley's Spencer spotted Demi waiting around the corner for her but Spencer saw no other girls when Ashley was within touching distance. Knowing just how wrong her actions were Spencer still followed Ashley up to the bedroom that she so often shared with Aiden because she knew that it was what her body craved._

"Ashley we can never be friends...sorry but I can't do it. Just stay away please...."Spencer stood up and headed to her window but she stopped and carefully admired Ashley wo was lit up by the sunlight remembering what made heart do funny things.

"Ash...."

"Yea?"Ashley asked with too much hope.

"You look good"Spencer smiled as she shut the window immediately regretting her honesting but knowing that those wants and needs will never go away.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you soooo much for all your lovely words. You all rock and I hope you still enjoy it.

Chapter 4

Spencer had managed to go two whole days without hearing from Ashley or seeing her but this was mostly because she only left the house to do her work experience and even then she tried to be stealth. Spencer had also managed to avoid Aiden thanks to the guilt that had come flooding back the minute she laid eyes on Ashley. Spencer knew that Aiden would never tell her to cut Ashley out completely but she didn't want to hurt her friend like she had done all those summers ago. It took a while to get their friendship back on track then and knowing that she didn't want lose Aiden aswel Spencer pushed any forgiveness for Ashley away for her own good.

_FLASHBACK_

_Spencer stirred from what she thought was the best and most realistic dream she had ever had hoping that she could fall back to sleep but the weight shifting on the bed pulled her from her slumber. Spencer slowly opened her eyes to find a smiling Ashley lying next her with bed hair and a healthy glow that Spencer had never seen on her before. Spencer was scared to talk incase she frightened the girl of her affections off again._

_"Morning sleepy....I thought you were never going to wake up" Ashley whispered not taking her eyes off Spencer._

_"I thought I was dreaming...am I?"Spencer replied in her groggy voice._

_"Why do you think it's a dream?"_

_"Because you're still here...that was kind of the last thing I expected" Spencer answered frankly._

_"Ouch...I guess I deserved that"Ashley said with a pout._

_"What are we doing?"Spencer asked with the full reality of what was happening staring her in the face. Ashley didn't respond instead she sat up and looked around the room blankly._

_"Ash whatever this is we need to figure it out"_

_"Can't we just enjoy whatever this is?"_

_"Trust me I want to enjoy it but I can't help but feel guilty....what about Aid?"The second Spencer mentioned Aiden's name the expression on Ashley's face soon changed. She looked panicked and sickened at the same time signalling that the dream was pretty much over._

_"You're right I should go" Ashley finally said getting out of bed. Spencer didn't want to have the uncomfortable conversation but knew she would have to otherwise things like this would continue happening without explanation._

_"I don't want you to go Ashley but I can't have you stay unless it's just me"Spencer was shocked at the authority in her voice._

_"I can't do that...sorry. I love Aiden and we make sense"_

_"Fine leave now but don't come back because I'm not doing this everytime you decide you might be gay. I know what I want and who I want so I have no need to take part in your patomine" Spencer snapped passing Ashley her belongings and showing her to her bedroom knowing that it was safe for Ashley to leave the normal way without been spotted._

_"I...I'm sorry Spence"_

_"Whatever Ash just go to Aiden and tell him you love him...if that's how you feel. Just please stay away from me from now on...I can't watch you be with him"_

_Ashley left as she was asked to and Spencer watched her leave. Spencer couldn't decide if it was harder watching Ashley leave or waking up with her already gone either way both options hurt. Spencer knew that this wasn't over because she still loved the girl but in that moment she knew she had to move on._

_That same evening Spencer decided to go back to Greys and find the bar maid that she had stood up hoping that the girl would still be open to Spencer's advances. Luckily she was working so Spencer plucked up all her courage and headed over immediately getting daggers thrown at her._

_"So you're not dead in a gutter?"Demi asked avoiding any eye contact._

_"I wish....would be alot easier if I'm honest" Spencer replied with a smile._

_"Do I get an explanation?"Demi asked walking around the bar to stand in front of Spencer._

_"Do I get a second chance?"Spencer asked hopefully._

_"Depends"_

_"I was tying up some loose ends" Spencer replied vaguely not wanting to go into detail mostly for her own protection._

_"So are these loose ends all tied up?"Demi asked slowly relaxing her frosty demenour which encouraged Spencer to relax aswell._

_"I'd say so...in fact I'm certain"_

_"I'm working all night so I won't be able to do anything until tomorrow"_

_"You don't look too busy at the moment....maybe I can hang out here?"Spencer suggested slowly moving closer to Demi and trying to focus all her energy on another pretty girl, a girl that would return her affections Spencer hoped._

_"Ok...you have your second chance but you're paying for all your drinks"_

_"Does that include alcoholic drinks?"Spencer asked with a cheeky smile._

_"Maybe depends..."_

_"On?"_

_"Kiss me and I'll tell you"Demi answered with all the confidence in the world. Spencer was quick to respond and kissed Demi gentley on the lips,placing her hands on her hips which she used to pull Demi closer. The kissed finally ended when a cough from behind them caused them to separate. Spencer turned around to see who the offender was only to be disappointed._

_"I've been trying to call you Spence" Aiden giggled while Ashley stood next to him glaring at the girl who currently had her arm around Spencer._

_"Sorry I was busy this morning and I'm busy this evening"Spencer said with a cocky smile in Ashley's direction knowing that she was definately the jealous type._

_"So I can see...Hi I'm Aiden and this is my girlfriend Ashley"Aiden annouced ever the gentleman._

_"Nice to meet you I'm Demi. Spencer I need to get back to work...you don't have hang out all night if your friends are here"_

_"No way I'm not passing up my second chance"Spencer said looking only at Demi now hinting for her 'friends' to leave. Ashley was still staring as if she was going to attack at least one of the girls but luckily her evils were going unnoticed by Aiden as he was so shocked by seeing Spencer out with a girl. He knew that Spencer thought she might be gay as they had the conversation a while ago and he was happy that she was finally doing something about it._

_"Come on Baby lets go get a booth and leave these two to it"Aiden said smiling politely._

_"I want to sit at the bar"Ashley finally said not knowing how to dela with the immense feelings that were stewing up inside her._

_Spencer overhead what was meant to be a private conversation and hoped to god that they would do away so she could get on with her life. Having the girl of her affections sat next to her on her first unofficial date was not a good plan._

_"Ash I know you're overprotective of Spencer but let her do this alone"Aiden begged only to have his request ignored as Ashley pulled up a stall at the opposite end of the bar to Spencer._

_Spencer spent the first hour being able to talk to Demi freely as the bar was dead but as it started to fill up conversation became more and more difficult especially with Ashley watching their every move. After another hour Demi managed to get a break so she dragged Spencer out to the service exit so they could have a few minutes alone._

_"Do you smoke?"Demi asked lighting a cigarette for herself._

_"Never tried"Spencer replied slightly ashamed of her own innocence._

_"Wanna?"Demi encouraged with a wicked smile on her face handing the packet to Spencer. Spencer took one of the small white sticks out of the crumpled packet and lit it under Demi's instruction. With the first drag Spencer coughed and spluttered but slowly got used to the minty treat._

_"So Spencer Carlin....the girl at the end of the bar is she the loose end?"Demi asked already knowing the answer._

_"Is it that obvious?"_

_"You hide it quite well but she looks like shemay kill me later so I think for my own protection it might be a good idea for you to come back to mine later?"_

_"If it's for your protection I can't say no can I?"_

_"In return I promise to make that loose end disappear forever"Demi said as she took Spencer's face in her hands and kissed her with an intensity that Spencer had never experienced before and she liked it. Spencer dropped the cigarette from her fingers and pushed back into Demi so that she slammed against the service door. The dark hair girl moaned with delight causing Spencer to kiss harder._

_The evening was slowly coming to an end and Spencer couldn't wait for it to finish so she could carry on where her and Demi finished off earlier on. Spencer decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up and make sure she looked a little bit hot. She went to the hidden rest room so she could primp and prine herself in privacy. Making her way into the hot pink room she mentally kicked herself for not remembering that the only person she knew that was aware of this rest room was Ashley. Spencer was waiting for Ashley to be mad at her or for a reaction other than tears. Spencer stood looking at her friend slightly shocked by the tears._

_"Shit...I'm leaving don't worry"Ashley whispered in between tears as she tried to push past Spencer._

_"Hey...don't go Ash...what's up?"Spencer asked holding Ashley still._

_"Nothing....everything...this" Ashley answered signalling to Spencer holding her hand._

_"Don't worry that won't be happening again" Spencer remembered that the vulnerable crying girl had crushed her heart a few hours before. Spencer recoiled her touch and took a step back._

_"Yea you have Demi now" _

_"I don't have anybody but you do have Aiden and that's your choice"_

_"Didn't look like that when we walked in"_

_"Why do you even care?"Spencer yelled in pure frustration at the mixed signals she was getting from Ashley._

_"BECAUSE I WANT YOU!!!"Ashley yelled back looking almost shocked by her own words._

_"No you don't Ashley...you want me when it suits you..you want me behind your boyfriends and my best friends desk...you want me now you can't have me"Spencer gave Ashley a few home truths hoping that been angry at her would stop her from wanting to kiss her._

_"Spencer I want you in every way possible but I can't just stop being with him"_

_"Then like I said this morning this cannot happen Ashley so please just drop it. Go back into the bar and find Aiden"_

_"So you can go off with Demi"_

_"Yes so I can off with Demi and so we can have some fun without hurting anybodies feelings"_

_"Fine go off with her..."_

_"God Ashley how can you be mad at me?????!!!I'm single and she wants me...there's no Aiden...there's no used me up and spat me out"_

_"Spence just give me some time and I'll be better"Ashley was now closer to Spencer, only inches from her face. Spencer could see the golden flecks that she knew inside out now and she knew that Ashley loved her back. Unfortunately the golden flecks would never let Spencer know how long it would take Ashley to realise that she was gay._

_"I can't do that Ash...it's not fair on Aiden"_

_"I'll break up with him tonight" Ashley promised putting her hands on Spencer's waist as if she was holding her in the moment._

_"No Ashley you can't just do that..that boy loves you"_

_"Do you love me?"Ashley asked looking right through Spencer's eyes._

_"You know I do Ash"_

_"That's all that matters because I love you Spence and I know I always will"Ashley's words caused a reaction in Spencer that made her kiss Ashley with no consideration for the consequences or anybody elses feelings. Spencer's head was spinning from the kiss and she hardly noticed that Ashley had pushed her on to the side. Ashley hands were all over Spencer's body which made Spencer's skin burn with passion. Goosebumps took over the blondes body as Ashley slowly kissed and nipped at her neck, toying with her pulse spot. Spencer let out a loud groan which encouraged Ashley to bite harder and for her hands to move further down her body grazing her stomach and sliding down past her waistband. Spencer threw her head back as Ashley entered her for the first time and she let out an even louder moan which echoed around the rest room. Spencer stopped writing around as she realised that the two lovers were no longer alone. Ashley stopped pleasuring Spencer and looked up into her blue eyes._

_"Am I doing it wrong?"Ashley asked looking concerned but Spencer didn't have a chance to reply._

_"WHAT THE FUCK???"Aiden yelled as he took in the scene of his best friend getting fucked by his girlfriend. Ashley carefully pulled herself together and Spencer stood up trying to make sure she wasn't flashing._

_"Aiden,baby...this..this" Ashley stuttered not knowing what to say as she had only just decided what she wanted a few minutes ago._

_"This is a fucking joke.....right?"Aiden begged Ashley with his eyes for her to laugh and agree that it was a joke. Ashley didn;t say anything for seemed like an eternity._

_"I can't do any of this....sorry"Ashley spat out as she ran from the rest room. Spencer wanted to go after her but knew that she should leave that for Aiden but he didn't move._

_"You know how much I fucking love her Spence....I fucking hate you for this"Aiden yelled as he walked out the room. Spencer didn't reply because she didn't blame him instead she sat on the ground and cried knowing that everything was ruined._

Spencer was sat on her tree having a cigarette and a coffee for breakfast knowing that her parents had left for a work a few hours ago. She basked in the morning sun and took in the fresh morning air but couldn't help but giggle at the irony of 'fresh air' while she was smoking. Spencer hadn't spotted the car pulling into her drive but she did see Aiden standing beneath her.

"Hey lady" Aiden yelled as he started climbing the ladder.

"Oh hey dude..."

"So are you avoiding me on purpose or are you just really busy not having a social life?"

"Damn you and knowing me so well"

"Fess up Carlin"

"Seeing Ashley last night just brough back a lot of bad feelings and memories"

"That's the past Spence...I'm ok and we're fine"

"Yea but I hurt you so much Aid and I can't forget that"

"You can't change what happened and even though I blamed you at first I know that you got sucked in by Ashley. You tried to stay away and she told me that"

"But she's back and it's confusing me"

"You still love her?"

"I don't know"

"Well she's here and she's not going anywhere so just deal with it before you push out your life for no reason"

"I'm only here for 3 months and then I'm gone"

"Do you honestly think that Ashley Davies will just let this lie?"

"I'm still going to try"

"Just please don't give anything up because of me...I love you Carlin and nothing will change that" Aiden said giving his best friend a hug.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the long wait but I've been super busy although I will be updated quite a lot over the next few days. Also I now have the help of a beta named Nismo Fire...so thankies to you and I hope your computer has been fixed now. Enjoy xx

CHAPTER 5

"Carmen I don't really want to go" Spencer whined into her cell phone as she messed about with her laptop.

"But it's going to be an awesome party"Carmen argued.

"Yes which is been hosted by Ashley who is the one person I'm trying to avoid"

"You probably won't even see her..I mean her house is huge anyway plus I'll protect"

Spencer really didn't want to have Carmen protecting her because she knew that this would lead her on which was one of the last things Spencer wanted. She had made a vow with herself before she came home for the summer to not get into any girl drama and Carmen always came with a huge dose of that.

"Carmen I'm really not in the mood and she will know that I'm going"

"Not if nobody tells her"

"That's not going to happen....people in the place like to talk...."

"Spence stop being lame and get on with your life...Ashley is so you might aswell"

"What do you mean?"

"She's been seen about with some chick...quite hot apparently"

"Oh right...I'm glad....wait is she gay now?"

"Come tonight and find out"

"Alright...I'll go but don't expect me to have fun"

"I'll pick you up at 8" Carmen explained and then ended the call. Spencer let out a huge sigh and dropped her phone on to the bed in frustration only for it to ring again.

"What?"Spencer snapped answering her phone.

"Somebodies in a good mood"Aiden laughed.

"Sorry....just got off the phone to Carmen"

"Yea she said that you're coming to Ashley's summer party"

"Wow she doesn't waste any time"

"So is it true?"

"Yes and I really don't want to go but I'm really fed up with hiding away"

"It's about time....I'll be there anyway"

"What?"

"I bumped into Ashley at the park the other day and we had a chat"

"You chatted with her?" Spencer didn't mean to sound so mad but she had assumed after 3 years of unspoken hatred for the girl that Aiden would have the decency to tell her that he had had a 'little chat' with the girl that broke both of their acculminated in him going to her party.

"Chill out Spence....I'm over being mad and now she's back I thought why not let it go"

"That's all very mature of you but I don't get this new attitude of yours"

"Spence I have met a lot of girls' at college and it's help me to realise that Ashley wasn't everything. Yes she hurt me but so did you and I forgave you"Aiden smirked as he said the last part knowing that Spencer would have no choice but to get over it.

"Ugh....ok I'll go and if I happen to see her then I'll try to be nice but only because you're acting like Buddha and you pulled out the guilt card"

"It had to be done....so do you want me to walk tou your house first?"

"No Carmen said she'll get me"

"Oh really?"

"Just as friends....I'm not having a repeat of last summer"

"Haha oh please do it was fucking hilarious"

"Don't push your luck Dennison"

"See you there then?"

"Apparently so"

Spencer put her phone down half expecting it to ring again and saw that the time was aleady 6pm so decided that as she was going to Ashley's that she would do her best to look as hot as possiblle. So she turned on her music and started getting ready hoping that she would be able to get away from this evening unscaved. Putting on her tightest skinny fits and Ramones t-shirt Spencer checked her reflection in the mirror one last time before she left admiring her smokey make up and poker straight hair. Carmen was already waiting in the drive way which Spencer knew she would be.

"Hey you" Carmen said passing Spencer a cigarette knowing that Spencer would be dying for one.

"Thank you" Spencer said taking the little white stick.

"No worries....so where is Ashley's?"

"Literally the next road over"

"Why did you agree to me picking you up if it's only 2 minutes away?"

"Because I didn't want to arrive on my own and you offered...well demanded"

Carmen pulled off the drive and followed Spencer's basic directions getting the destination in less than 2 minutes. Spencer checked her reflection again and stubbed out her cigarette.

"You look great Spence" Carmen reassured her.

"Thanks...look Carmen...I know we're arriving together but.."

"We won't be leaving together...get over yourself Spence I've moved on" Carmen interrupted having heard Spencer's speech a few times at the end of last summer.

"Sorry I just...I didn't want to give you the wrong idea"

"Too late for that Spencer....you kind of did that most of last summer but like I said I'm over it"

Spencer took Carmen's word for it and climbed out of the VW convertible making her way down the long winding drive way that she knew so well. Suddenly felt all her confidence being sucked out her as if she had just walked into a brick wall that wasn't going to move.

"Spence you ok?"Carmen quickly ran to the girls' side.

"I don't know if I can go in there" Spencer confessed as she stood completely grounded.

"You need to Spence...otherwise you'll be hideen away all summer plus all you friends are in there"

"And so is the one person that has broken my heart"

"Yea 3 years ago Spence...I know it still sucks but it gets easier" Carmen explained hoping that Spencer didn't realise that these were words from her experience.

"You promise?"Spencer asked holding Carmen's hand.

"Yes...Spence I will literally hold your hand the whole evening if you want?"

"Just until I remember how to walk" Spencer joked finally realising that Carmen did care for her but was just as a friend now.

"No problem" Carmen lead Spencer towards the house not needing to knock on the door as it was already open. Spencer swallowed hard as she entered the house noticing that nothing had really changed since the last time she was there other than there were a few photos of Ashley and a girl that Spencer didn't recognise scattered on the walls. Carmen kept hold of Spencer's hand and pulled her into the main room which was quite full of people. Spencer scanned the crowd trying to find Aiden knowing that he would definately make her feel better. She finally spotted im talking to some guys that used to go to King by the beer keg.

"Hey Carlin" Aiden shouted pulling Spencer into a bear hug.

"Is somebody still a light weight?" Spencer giggled as he put her down.

"No I'm just happy your here.... I promise this will be the best thing for you" As Aiden was talking he noticed that Carmen was holding on to Spencer's hand.

"Don't worry Aiden I was just your job until we found you...am I excused now?"Carmen replied to the look Aiden gave Spencer.

"To do what?" Spencer asked with a cocked eyebrow.

" I said I'd meet a friend here"Carmen confessed going slightly red.

"Oooohhhh who?"Spencer asked with excitement.

"Just some girl I met the other week. Have fun and I'll see ya'll later" Carmen faded into the crowd. Aiden handed Spencer a beer and they headed out to the garden as they walked Spencer noticed Aiden was scanning the crowd as if he were looking for somebody.

"Who you looking for?"Spencer asked as they took a seat next to the pool which was frammed with fairy lights and lanterns.

"Nobody"

"Liar"

"Ok I don't know her name but I saw her hanging out with Ashley the other day when I drive passed the lake. I was kind of hoping she might be here"

"I heard that chick was Ashley's girlfriend"

"So Ash is gay then?" Aiden asked almost relieved.

"Apparently so...I wouldn't know...she's not on my email list"

"Do you think it's true though?"

"I have no idea Aiden....why don't you go ask her?" Spencer snapped as she saw Ashley walking into the garden saying hello to people that Spencer knew Ashley didn't know.

"Ok I will" Aiden stood up and walked off completely ignoring Spencer grabbing his arm to stop him.

"Hey Ashley"

"Aiden you came?"

"Yea it's still cool right?"

"Definately Aid...there's really only two people that I want here"

"Who's the other person?" Aiden asked knowing the answer already but he just needed to hear it just make sure.

"Spencer...I know she won't show though she made that pretty clear the other week when she told me to stay away" Ashley replied glummly.

"I guess she didn't mean it because she's here"Aiden said with a smile hoping the news would put a smile back her face which it did.

"I don't know how you did it Aid but thank you so much" Ashley finally said giving Aiden a hug.

"Just get it right this time Ashley" Aiden instructed but his thoughts were soon distracted when the girl he had seen the other day walked up to stand next to Ashley. She had dark hair similar to Ashley with the same brown eyes but her smile was different in so many ways.

"Hey little sister" Ashley said hugging the shorted girl.

"Woah...sister?"Aiden asked in shock.

"Yea this is Kyla....Ky this Aiden"

"I've heard so much about you Aiden"Kyla said shaking his hand and giving him a sweet smile.

"That's weird because I've heard absolutely nothing about you"

"Well Kyla can tell you all about it....I need to be somewhere"Ashley said as she walked off heading towards Spencer who was still sat by the pool on her own smoking.

"Since when do you smoke?"Ashley said causing Spencer to jump.

"Since I was about 3" Spencer joked leaving her confrontational streak behind for a moment.

"Well you look good for it" Ashley asnwered noticing how incredible the blond girl looked with her face gentely lit by the fairy lights.

Spencer didn't say anything else instead she sat silent and hoped that Ashley would just go away but she didn't. Ashley sat down opposite Spencer and made sure she was in her eyeline so she couldn't keep ignoring her.

"You having fun?"Ashley asked mentally kicking herself for sounding so lame.

"Yea great..I've been guilted to come here against my better judgement and now I've been ditched...actually I think I might just leave" Spencer went to stand up but Ashley stopped her and kept hold of her arm.

"Don't go...I'll keep you company if Aiden's pre-occupied" Ashley offered with nothing but hope and a smile.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Ash"

"Why not?"

"Because there's a very high chance that I'll just be mean to you"

"I deserve it and I can totally handle it"

"You think you deserve it?"Spencer asked intrigued because the whole time she had been friends with Ashley she had never admitted to doing anything wrong.

"Yes I was wrong and you know that"Ashley said looking down at her hands that suddenly seemed very interesting.

"I'm sorry but I need to take a minute here"

"Why?"

"Because the Ashley Davies is admitting to being wrong..this is a historical moment Ash" Spencer joked letting her over defensive guard down. Ashley tried to look offended but seeing Spencer smile even if it was at her own expense made Ashley smile too.

"Get used to it....I've changed alot since I left" Ashley cringed the second the words left her mouth. The words made Spencer stiffen up as she heard Ashley be so nochalant about what had happened between them. Spencer got up to leave again and this time Ashley didn't follow knowing that Spencer just needed some time.

_FLASBACK_

_After Aiden had gone after Ashley and she knew it was safe to leave the confines of the rest room Spencer made a swift exit hoping to advoid everyone including Demi but it seems this evening that luck was not on Spencer Carlin's side._

_"Hey where you been cutie?"Demi asked going into kiss Spencer only to be knocked back._

_"I need to go...something just happened"_

_"I'm guessing the lose ends weren't tied up very well?"_

_"How did you guess?"_

_"I saw the cute brunette running out of here crying closely followed by an angry looking pretty boy"_

_"Yep was the lose end closely followed by the best friend" Spencer said holding back tears._

_"Look I know it all seems like the world is ending but trust me on this it gets better" Demi explained stroking a tear off Spencer's cheek._

_"I doubt that very much....I just don't know what to do"_

_"Look my offer still stands....all selfishness intended"Demi offered with a smile._

_"I suppose they're better off alone to sort stuff out or whatever"Spencer agreed with a smile letting the sadness slip away in exchange a few hours of easy escape._

_"Come on...you can fill me in on the details"Demi took Spencer's hand and led her to her car._

_The next morning Spencer woke up feeling anxious knowing that she needed to talk to Ashley now so picked up her cell and dialed the first number on her phone for it go straight to voicemail. Spencer hung up and dialed the land line number._

_"Davies residence" An unfamiliar voice answered._

_"Is Ashley there?"_

_"Miss Davies is not here can I take a message?"_

_"Where is she?"_

_"I'm not sure can I take a message?"_

_"Just tell her Spencer called" Spencer hung up her phone and dialled Aiden's number._

_"She's gone" Aiden said straight away._

_"What?"_

_"She has actually left...I went back to hers we argued and then fell asleep. I woke up and she's gone"_

_"You sure she hasn't just gone out for some alone time"_

_"No she's taken her clothes and car Spence...."Aiden was obviously fighting back emotions that he ws unsure of._

_"I'm sorry....I'm...Aid I didn't mean for this to happen"Spencer tried but knew no words would make this any better._

_"Spence...I know how easy it is to get sucked in to the Davies web"_

_"It wasn't just her Aid...I didn't mean for this to happen I promise you"_

_"Spence just forget it....I'm done with you. A really friend doesn't fuck the other person's girlfriend in the toilet"Aiden yelled hanging up his phone. Spencer tried to gather her things up without waking up Demi. She was successful in her mission and left a note explaining her absence. Spencer made it home to find Ashley's car outside her house which shocked her more than a best friend card from Aiden at the moment. Spencer ran up to her room to find Ashley sat on her bed playing with her teddy bear._

_"Aiden said you'd gone"_

_"That's the plan but I needed to see you"_

_"I suppose it was hard to see me while you ran away last night...thanks for that by the way"_

_"Spence don't be like that"_

_"Don't be like what?Don't feel used?Don't act hurt?Don't be upset?Ashley you used me for some little game and you managed to make me fall for it. Now everything's ruined and you're leaving"_

_"Sounds like you want me to leave anyway so I'm doing you a favour"_

_"You could've not led me on....that would've been a favour Ashley. Leaving after you've fucked everything up is selfish"_

_"I think you'll find that you kissed back, you lied to Aiden too. You could've said no at any point, you could've told Aiden but you didn't"_

_"That's because I love you...how can you not know that???I loved you for ages now Ashley and when you kissed me I was too far in turn away. It was something that I had wanted for years and you gave it to me"_

_"Spence I love you too but I can't be with you"Ashley whispered through tears as she started to leave. Spencer grabbed her and kissed hoping to change her mind but Ashley pulled away after a few seconds leaving Spencer stood in her room, crying and hoping that she was coming back._

Spencer made her way back to the party after hiding for a while only to be spotted by Ashley straight away. Ashley made her way over to Spencer so she could apologise for her own stupidity.

"Spence...I'm sorry about what I said" Ashley said as she leaned against the wall near Spencer.

"It's fine....it still hurts sometimes"Spencer confessed already feeling vulernable.

"I hate that this is all my fault"

"No you were right that day you left...I could've said no, I could've not kissed you back but I for the past 3 years I have wished I hadn't. Kissing you back was the biggest mistake of my life"

"I don't regret it"Ashley admitted knowing that Spencer would be pissed at her for saying that but she just wanted to let Spencer know how she felt.

"Well you should because you hurt people....Aiden may be happy to have you back but I'm not"Spencer snapped but she didn't move which Ashley took as a signal to continue the discussion.

"Spencer it hurt me to and I know I dealt with it in the wrong way but I don't know what else to do. I'll apologise every day if I have to but tell if I'm wasting my time" Ashley had moved closer to Spencer now so that the conversation was more private.

"Yea it must've really sucked running away to....I don't even really know where you went Ashley. I rang you, I emailed you..I tried everything but you didn't love me enough to tell me where you were and if you were ok"

"I had a lot to deal with and I didn't want to hurt you even more than I did. Spencer I loved you everyday after I left and I tried to come back so many times"

"Well this has been fun....I need to get out of here now" Spencer walked off but Ashley followed her. She walked up next to Spencer and grabbed her by her arm pulling her into the back entrance of the house, leading her up the stairs to her bedroom.

"We're not done Spence....just yell at me, tell me how much you hate me or whatever you need to make this ok again"Ashley shouted as she slammed the door.

"I do hate you and I think I've made that quite obvious"Spencer said as she glared at Ashley.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because Carmen told me you had been seen around town with some girl and I wanted to know if it was true"

"If what was true?"

"If you were gay?"

"Jesus Spence you could've just asked me....you know where I live"

"After 3 years of you being gone it's not that simple Ash"

"Yes it is....just ask me"Ashley demanded looking straight into Spencer's eyes.

"You gay?"

"Yes"Ashley replied with no hesitation or consideration like the answer was what she had been practicing for years. For some reason unknown to Spencer the confession made her hurt and worst of all it made her want to cry.

"The girl?"

"Definately not a girlfriend. What about the girl you arrived with?"

"Ex..how do you know I arrived with somebody?"

"I accidently saw you from my bedroom window...you seemed quite annnoyed with each other so I figured there was something there"

"There was for Carmen but not for me....I wasn't over...Demi when I met her"Spencer lied.

"The chick from Gray?"

"Yea we got together the night you left and it stayed that way for a while"

"Hold on a minute Spencer Carlin...you hooked up with somebody else the night I left?"

"Not the same thing Ashley but yea and she was great for me"

"So what happened?"Ashley asked

"I just wasn't ready....I was focusing on getting Aiden back as my friend and then there was you but I was young and stupid then"

"So you didn't really love me?"Ashley asked looking wounded behyond belief which didn't go unnoticed by Spencer who suddenly felt like she should put the girl out of her misery.

"You know I did otherwise I would never have done what I did to Aiden"

"I knew that he would forgive you...and I knew that you wouldn't give up on him"

"That still doesn't excuse what you did Ashley"

"I'm not looking to be excused...I don't even know if I want you to forgive me but I know that I miss you and want you back in my life one way or another"

"Who is the girl?"Spencer asked trying to put off any real forgiveness at the moment.

"She's my sister"

"You're an only child"Spencer replied.

"Nope...Daddy Dearest fucked some chick in Baltimore and out popped little sister"

"When did you find out?"

"The day that I first kissed you..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't talk about it with anyone but she's a part of my life now and I love her"

"I'm glad you have some family that you love Ash. Look I think I really am done for tonight..."

"Does that mean that you'll see me again?"Ashley asked hopefully.

"I don't know...."

"No expectations Spence....I just want my friend back...like I said before"

"Like I said before I don't think we can just be friends"

"We can try?"

"I'll see....goodnight Ashley" Spencer replied gentley touching Ashley on the shoulder as if it were a completely natural action. Ashley took advantage of Spencer's promixity and hugged her taking in her scent. Spencer tried her hardest not to inhale knowing too well that Ashley Davies always smelt incredible but her airwaves unlocked and she was taken over by the scents of vanilla and cherry. Spencer didn't try to wiggle free from the hug instead she took in feeling and remembered how good it felt to have Ashley this close to her. Ashley pulled her head away so that the two girls were looking directly at each other but with only inches between them. The second their eyes locked Spencer saw the golden flecks that got her into so much trouble 3 years ago. Snapping out of the trance she was in Spencer walked away without saying another word hoping that she wouldn't need to see Ashley again but knowing deep down that she would have to.


	6. Chapter 6

Another update....thanks for reviews and good vibes.

Chapter 6

"Where did you go last night?"Aiden asked as he handed Spencer her cup of coffee taking a seat on her bed.

"I could ask you the same thing"Spencer replied snatching the coffee.

"And I'll tell you when you've told me"

"I was talking to Ashley"

"And?"

"That's it we just got some stuff out there"

"So are you friends again?"

"We'll never be friends Aiden. Now where were you?"

"I was hanging out with Kyla"

"Who?"

"Ashley's sister"

"So you fucked Ashley's sister?"

"No Kyla isn't like that...she's sweet and kind"

"You going to see her again?"

"Yea we're going to the lake today which is why I'm here"

"I'm not playing babysitter on your date Aid...you're a big boy you can handle it"

"There's a group of us going and I thought you could bring your camera....maybe take some pictures this summer that aren't part of your work experience"

"Tempting but no"

"Why not?"

"Because Ashley will be there" Spencer tried to think as this as a bad thing but the idea of seeing Ashley again didn't make her as angry as before.

"I'm not taking no for an answer" Aiden said standing up and grabbing a bikini from Spencer's drawer throwing it at her. Spencer grabbed the item and stomped into the bathroom reluctantly getting dressed. A few minutes later she appeared in her black and whit stripey bikini and grabbed some cut offs from her drawer putting them on. Ignoring Aiden she also took her white rayban wayfarers and placed them over her eyes.

"Don't forget your camera" Aiden joked passing the small bag that contained the camera to Spencer.

They made there way down the stairs to the family kitchen.

"Morning Spence....hey Aiden" Mr Carlin shouted from the kitchen.

"Hey Dad..I'm going to the lake with ass ache here"

"I know there's a towel and sun cream by the front door for you" Mr Carlin replied smiling at Aiden.

"I hate you both"Spencer snapped hitting her best friend with her towel.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aiden pulled his oversized truck into a parking space jolting to a hault. A collective group of their friends had already set up a small camp with speakers and a volley ball net. Spencer climbed out and walked towards Chelsea who was already sunbathing.

"Hey traitor"Spencer joked as she lay down next to Chelsea.

"I was just keeping the peace"Chelsea replied not even opening her eyes.

"I know....don't worry. How you doing?"

"I'm great..I have an exhibition next week, you should come"

"Yea I'd love to"

Chelsea opened her eyes and watched Spencer as she looked around the beach checking every person for a possible id of the person she wanted to secretly see.

"She's in the water with Kyla"Chelsea said as she sat up to show Spencer.

"I wasn't looking for her"

"Whatever....she was asking if you were coming"

"Good for her"

"Spence I have known for so long so please don't put on the show for me"

"There's no show"

"Just admit that you're glad she's back"

"Never" Spencer replied letting a sly smile escape from her lips. Chelsea giggled and lay down again leaving Spencer to look at Ashley who was now making her way out of the water having been ditched by Kyla for Aiden. Spencer couldn't take her eyes off Ashley as she exited the water, her golden skin was sparkling as the sun hit of the stray droplets of water that dripped down her toned body. Spencer mentally picked up her jaw and tried to look in the other direction.

"I didn't know you were coming"Ashley said from a distance readjusting her red polka dot bikini.

"Neither did I but Aiden had other ideas"Spencer replied nodding towards Kyla and Aiden.

"Not too sure how I feel about that"Ashley said as she dried her hair with a towel.

"He likes her"Spencer answered spreading her towel out so Ashley could sit down which she happily did.

"How can you tell?"Ashley asked accidently dripping water on Spencer's arm then wiping it off without a second thought. The sudden contact sent shivers through both girls but they both ignored it.

"He doesn't want to sleep with her"Spencer explained getting a confused look from Ashley.

"That doesn't sound like a good thing Spence"

"Aiden only ever sleeps with girls and he never sees them again...this is the first time he's met a girl again. It's a pretty big deal actually I hope it doesn't go bad"

"She's not a Davies so it should be fine"Ashley laughed.

"It's because of you"Spencer snapped still not liking that Ashley was trying to make light of the situation. She automatically regretted snapping as the smile on Ashley's face faded and her eyes dropped to the ground.

"What about you?"Ashley asked trying to move on from the dig.

"What about me?"

"Do you do the same thing?"

"Kind of....I'd rather not talk about it"

"Ok...I'm not like that"Ashley said shyly causing Spencer to looked shocked.

"What do you mean?"

"I...since that night...I've only ever been with one girl and I hated myself afterwards"Ashley avoided all eye contact with Spencer during her confession.

"Why?"Spencer asked slightly scared of what the answer might be.

"She wasn't you"Ashley answered as if it was the obvious thing to say.

_FLASHBACK_

_"I need to get out here"Ashley yelled at her father as she walked towards the front door._

_"Ashley I know this is a lot to take in but....she's apart of our life now" Raife explained trying to calm down his daughter but not really knowing how to due to lack of experience._

_"No Dad she's a part of yours...I came here to be with you not to be part of some strange make shift family you've created"_

_"No Ashley you came here because you were running away from whatever happened Ohio and you're taking your anger out on your sister"_

_"She is not my sister and I gave up everything to be here with you"_

_"Don't put this on me Ash...you rang me begging to come here because you had fucked up and I'm glad you're here but I will not have you acting like that towards Kyla"_

_"I did fuck up and I'm more than aware of that but that has nothing to do with how pissed I am at you for keeping some love child secret from me for all these years. I know you and Mom are over but this...this is a new low for you"Ashley finsihed the rant in tears and finally left the house. She climbed into her porsche and just drove for what seemed like forever but she stopped as she hit downtown Los Angeles. Pulling into a carpark of a bar she strutted up to the bar and made her way in. She took a seat on her own and ordered a load of shots hoping that this would make what happened two months ago disappear._

_While drowning her sorrows Ashley barely noticed the girl that was making her way other to the table._

_"Hey....are you waiting for somebody?"The blond hair girl asked eyeing Ashley._

_"Nope....I'm alone"Ashley replied bitterly without even looking up._

_"Do want some company?"The girl asked trying to cacth Ashley's eye._

_Ashley didn't reply straight away but when she caught sight of the blond hair and blue eyes her heart jumped into her mouth. Even though she knew this wasn't Spencer Carlin whoever this was would make a great replacement for the evening._

_"Definately....what's your name?"_

_"Lily"The girl answered taking Ashley hand into her own._

_"I'm Ashley....do you wanna get out of here?"Ashley asked not even wanting to waste time with pleasantries._

_"Sure"_

_Both girls power walked out of the bar and headed to an ally behind it. Ashley grabbed the girl and started kissing her pretending she was Spencer but the touch her lips, the taste of her mouth and the feel of her skin against her own was nothing compared to Spencer's. Ashley forced the thoughts away and focused on the girl in front of her. As things became more passionate and desperate the thoughts and memories head started throbbing...everthing was becoming blurred, colours became too much and sounds were amplified...the one conclusion that Ashley's over active brain came to was that Ashley wanted Spencer and there was no substitute. Ashley pushed the girl off her and walked away._

_"ASHLEY WHERE YOU GOING?"Lily shouted after her as she did up her shirt but Ashley didn't turn around. She just climbed in her car and started driving again knowing that she was legally over the limit but not caring. Ashley fought back the tears that were blurring her vision and tried to focus on the road that would leave her back to her Dad's house but she couldn't see. From nowhere Ashley rammed her car into a tree causing the air bags to explode and for the world to turn black._

_The next morning Ashley woke up in her room at her Dad's house with a blazing headache and no memory of what happened after she hit the tree. Scanning the room Ashley saw her new sister sat on a chair asleep. Ashley sat up slowly feeling the impact of the accident on her body hoping that she wasn't horrilbly disfigured she grabbed the mirror by the side of her bed._

_"You have one small cut on your head but it'll heal"Kyla said looking at Ashley._

_"What are you doing here?"Ashley snapped._

_"Saving you from getting your drunken ass thrown in jail"Kyla replied offended._

_"What?"_

_"I spotted your car on the freeway so I followed you home..you lost control around a corner and hit a tree. I pulled over and seeing that you were clearly drunk I got in the drivers seat and pretended I was driving"_

_"You did that?"_

_"Yea...I had to hide my car by the park but I got away with it"Kyla answered with a smug smile._

_"Why?"_

_"Because I've only just met you and as much as you hate me I still want to get to know you and there was no way I was coming to see you in Jail"_

_"Shit" Ashley groaned as she felt the ever so present guilt take over her body knowing that she only seem to have the ability to hurt people. Tears started streaming down her face again and she wished that she could just take everything back._

"But you could have anyone"Spencer replied after a while not really knowing what to say.

"I don't...I didn't want just anyone" Ashley said trying to hide her slip up.

"What do you want now?"Spencer asked bravely

"Everything that I lost 3 years ago"Ashley said looking at Spencer with every ounce of intesity one body could handle. They looked at each for a while exploring each others eyes as if they were looking for a clue as to what the other actually wanted.

"Just forget I said anything"Ashley finally said breaking the eye contact feeling uncomfortable with the silence.

"It's kind of hard to forget anything you do Ashley Davies" Spencer said as she smiled at the girl who had broken her heart 3 years but had made it skip a beat a few seconds ago.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"Ashley queried not really knowing how to take the remark.

"Mostly bad but things change"Spencer had no idea how she had gone from trulely hating this girl to trying her best to keep the smile on her flawless face. Spencer had suddenly grown addicted to the hopeful expression on Ashley's face that got more prominant when Spencer made her feel good and wanted.

"So I hear that you're quite the photographer?"Ashley quickly changed the topic not wanting to push her good luck that had developed wih Spencer since she had returned.

"Hmm I wonder who said that"Spencer laughed looking over at Aiden and Kyla who had apparently been watching the two girls while they interacted.

"He's like a proud daddy....I'd love to see your work"Ashley said meaning it so much.

"Well I've been dragged here under the pretence that I'd be taking photos so I probably should"Spencer remembered standing up immediately noticing the look of sheer dissapointment that their time was over on Ashley's face.

"Ok"

"You wanna come?"Spencer asked holding her hand out to Ashley who happily grabbed it. Spencer cheekily snapped a quick photo of Ashley as she stood up.

"Spence...that was a bad picture"Ashley moaned trying to grab the camera but Spencer held her back as she looked at the photo on the screen knowing far too well that Ashley Davies didn't ake a bad photo.

"That's impossible"Spencer said as she started snapping more photos of Ashley who was trying to avoid the lens.

"Trust me it's not.....come on Spence Delete them"

"No way"

"Why not?"

"Because you're smiling....I miss your smile...it's good to see it again"

"Yours too Spence"

The two girls let the moment end and Spencer started walking around the lake looking for things to shoot knowing that nothing would be as perfect as Ashley's face.


	7. Chapter 7

Keeping reading and reviewing. This is just a quick one xx

Chapter 7

The day had slowly turned into night and everybody was sat around the fire that Aiden had built hoping to impress Kyla. Spencer was scanning through her photos from the day including pictures of her friends, the beautiful surroundings and Ashley. Spencer paused on the photos of Ashley and couldn't decide how they made her feel. Part her was focused on the hurt that the brown eyed beauty had caused her but the other part was thinking about how natural and great things felt between them today. Spencer admired how Aiden was so forgiving and gracious about what had happened in the past and Spencer wished that she could be like that but her stubborn streak restricted such blessings. Spencer smiled to herself as she watched Aiden adn Kyla interact on the otherside of the fire and she noted how her best friend smiled all the time when he was near Kyla and he looked relaxed which made Spencer consider the times or people that make her smile constantly.

"Don't concentrate too hard you're little brain will explode" Aiden said shocking Spencer as she quickly scrambled to hide the screen on her camera so Aiden didn't see the photo of Ashley.

"Up yours Dennison..."

"I saw the photo Carlin...she looks good and you looked slightly lustful"Aiden observed with a smile as he studied the photo.

"I'm not lustful thank you very much. It's just a good photo...I was admiring how awesome I am at photography"

"So have you spoken to Kyla yet?"Aiden asked changing the subject knowing that Spencer was in no mood to make any confessions.

"No....some ass hat has been keeping her company all day so I haven't had a chance"

"Or maybe you've spent all day lusting after Ashley?"Aiden pondered looking over at Ashley who was talking to her sister now. Spencer followed his gaze and couldn't help but admiring how stunning she looked lit up by the fire it almost made her skin glow and eyes dance. Spencer swallowed hard and fought any internal weakness.

"I'm not going there Aid..."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because of what happened.."

"Spence that was 3 years ago and we were pretty much kids. You've changed and she has definately changed....you need to get past it and see what can happen now"

"Nothing will happen we're just friends and she doesn't even like me like that anyway. In fact I doubt she's even gay...probably just palying around"

"You know that's bullshit Spence....do me a favour?"

"What?"

"Imagine how things would be if she would've stayed...if I had given you two my blessing to be together....how do you think you'd feel then?"

"I have no idea....like you said we were young and she was different then"

"But you still loved her flaws and all....if you like her then just see what happens"

"What if she doesn't like me?"

"Then I'll go watch Glen play basketball naked" Aiden laughed catching the attention of Kyla and Ashley who started walking over. Spencer couldn't stop laughing at the thought of Aiden naked at a basketball game and tried to pull herself together as Ashley walked closer.

"Hey guys"Aiden said in between giggles.

"Hey...Spence this is Kyla"Ashley said trying to get Spencer's attention. Spencer stopped laughing and stood to talk to Kyla.

"Nice to meet you..."

"Yea you too I've heard so much about you Spencer. The story about you guys is amazing and I'm so glad that the two of you are giving my idiot sister a second chance"Kyla rambled on for a while.

"Wow...you talk a lot you're definately Ashley's sister. So you moving here aswell?"

"Yes...since dad died LA just wasn't the same plus Ashley always tells me how much she loved this place growing up"

Spencer barely heard the end of the setence as she suddenly felt huge pangs of guilt for forgetting that Raife Davies the rock star had died in a car accident a year ago. Spencer saw the sadness in Ashley's eyes but she tried to hide it automatically. Spencer had tried to call Ashley on the day she heard but her number was disconnected and she gave up. Spencer carefully raised an arm to lovingly rub Ashley's arm to give her some comfort. Aiden noticed the moment and signalled for Kyla to follow him to get a drink.

"I tried to call you"Spencer said as she sat down on the log.

"I tried to come home...in fact I did but you were busy"Ashley replied sitting down next to the blond.

"What?"

"The night I found out I drove all the way to Ohio and I was sat outside your house waiting for you but when you came home you were kissing some girl so I just drove straight back"

"Jesus Ash you should'nt have left...I would've dropped everything for you in a heart beat Ash" Spencer replied getting annoyed with herself knowing that it was probably Carmen she was with that night as it was last summer. Spencer slowly placed her hand on Ashley to try and show her how sorry she was.

"Spence don't be silly it wasn't your fault...I was silly for coming here and it just confirmed that I should never have left Ohio or you. Seeing you with that girl made me realise just how much I missed you and wanted you. I was so upset about my dad but all I really cared about was that I had ran away from the only other person that trully still loved me"

"Now you have Kyla"

"Luckily I do but that's not enough"Ashley held on to Spencer's hand never wanting to let go this time or ever. Spencer hadn't realised just how close they were, their thights were touching and as they shared eye contact Spencer could feel Ashley's breathe gently grazing her cheeks. Spencer slowly leaned forward and kissed Ashley on the cheek as to reassure her that things might just be ok in the end. Ashley didn't want to lose the touch of Spencer's lips so tried to catch her lips on Spencer's in order to kiss her properly but Spencer pulled apart enlarging the space between them.

"I can't....sorry"Spencer tried to explain the sudden fear that consumed her body and she left the comfort of the seat she was just sharing with Ashley. Ashley slammed her down on log frustrated with her stupidity and she got up to follow Spencer who was heading over to the car park.

"Spence.....wait....Spence Aiden drove you here"Ashley shouted as she hobbled across the concrete car park. Spencer stopped as the words that Ashley had shouted sunk in and she admitted defeat knowing that she couldn't run away from this. Spencer leaned against a car that she had stopped by waiting for Ashley to catch up.

"I'll just wait here for him"Spencer said with a sulky look on her face which encourgared Ashley to stay at a safe distance.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that Spence....I just...fuck it...I want you so much and that's all I've wanted for a long time. I'm trying to be subtle and patient but I just want you so much that it hurts. I need to kiss you before I forget how it feels to be close to you....I just can't be away from you anymore...it hurts too much"Ashley confessed fighting back the tears.

"You didn't want me the first time why would you want me now?"Spencer shouted back ignoring the almost tears in Ashley's eyes.

"I've never not wanted you!!! I just didn't realise that we could make this work...now I know we can" Ashley explained hoping that Spencer would believe her intentions.

"You don't know that plus I don't want to" Spencer knew her words would hurt Ashley but she was doing her best to save her own heart. Ashley took in Spencer's cutting words and walked towards her stopping inches from her.

"Spencer if you don't want to say now because I have been waiting 3 years to kiss you again and I'm going to unless you stop...."Ashley was cut off by Spencer kissing her, pressing her lips against her own. Ashley leaned against Spencer who was now pressed against the car both girls getting lost in the moment. Ashley allowed her hands to explore Spencer's body carefully not wanting to ruin the kiss that was 3 years in the making and her attempts were returned by Spencer turning her around and lifting her on the hood of the car. Spencer pulled Ashley's warm body against her own as they continued to explore each others mouths with their tongues. Cold hands causing goosebumps on warm bodies, desperates breathes creating little clouds of condensation above their bodies.


	8. Chapter 8

Great reviews thank you guys so brain is a little bit mashed after been at Reading Festival all weekend but hopefully this will be alright xx

Chapter 8

Ashley and Spencer's kiss was getting extremely heavy and neither girl wanted to pull away from the passionate embrass.

"COUGH COUGH" A loud male voice shouted from a few feet away causing both Spencer and Ashley to jump apart. Spencer spun around to see Aiden stood behind them with Kyla in tow.

"Just checking that you weren't dead or killing each other" Aiden stated as Ashley slid off the car and straigtened herself up.

"But we can see that you're both ok...extremely ok" Kyla giggled taking in the sight of her sister going bright red from embarrasment.

"We....erm....well...fuck"Was all Spencer could manage not knowing how they had ended up making out on Aiden's car of all cars. Familiar guilt screamed through Spencer's veins as she tried to gather her thoughts but everything was a blur. She daren't look at Ashley who she assumed was just as embarrased.

"Sorry Aiden this is all my fault as usual...please don't be mad at Spencer" Ashley piped up not knowing what the expression on Aiden's face meant.

"I'm not mad...just a little shocked..ok I kind of expected this but still shocked"Aiden replied trying to ease the situation for everyone but not knowing how seeing this made him felt. He was over everything that had happened but just seeing it again right in front of him took him back and it still hurt. Knowing that he told Spencer that it would be ok if anything happened he knew that he had to swallow whatever old feelings were creeping back so that he could make it ok for his friend.

"It wasn't supposed to happen Aiden....it was just a silly heat of the moment thing"Spencer explained not noticing that her dismissive tone had clearly hurt Ashley's feelings a little.

"Was it?"Ashley interrupted hoping that it wasn't silly what had just happened.

"I don't know"

"Then why say it?"Ashley asked feeling quite defensive all of a sudden not caring who heard this conversation even if it was the boy she was once in love with.

"Ash can we talk about it later?"Spencer asked starting to feel under pressure and not liking it one bit. In fact she had spent the last 3 years not having to explain her actions to anyone and she kind of liked it that way.

"Don't worry about it Spence....I get it I'm just gonna go home" Ashley replied with a sarcastic smile. Ashley walked off towards her car leaving the other 3 stood in the dark.

"I better go with her"Kyla stated

"I thought we were going to get something to eat?"Aiden asked suddenly focusing on Kyla rather than Spencer who was still stood motionless as if she were waiting for instruction from Aiden.

"I want to check Ashley is ok and clearly you two have something to talk about"

"No it's fine....I want to have dinner with you Kyla"

"It's not fine Aiden if you're still upset about Spencer and Ashley so sort it out and then we can have our date"

"There's nothing to sort out"Aiden protested causing Kyla to let out a slight laugh.

"Yes there is Aiden....you have my number"Kyla said as she walked off towards where Ashley went. Spencer softly kicked the stone that was near her foot hoping to get Aiden's attention and also out of pure frustration. She so badly wanted to go after Ashley but she knew that Aiden would have to come first because she couldn't lose him especially not over Ashley. She had been burnt before by this situation and she had promised herself never to go there again no matter how much she knew she wanted Ashley.

"Well....that was fun. I'm going to get a lift home with Chelsea" Spencer finally said after a few minutes of silence and intense stares.

"I'll drive you Spence"Aiden offered

"Will you actually talk to me?"

"Yes...I'm sorry about that"

"Yea well you're only human. I guess that I knew it was wrong but it's hard to say no.."

"When you like somebody?"Aiden ended the setence for Spencer knowing that she wouldn't admit that much.

"I'm not sure but it felt pretty natural but it's cool. You're my best friend and if it hurts you then I'll let it go" Spencer said with a genuine smile that caused a sting of pain down her body.

"Get it Spence..."

"Wanna go get some food?"Spencer asked climbing into the car following instruction.

"Nope"

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to call Kyla and tell her that we sorted this out"

"But we haven't"

"Yes we have...I meant what I said the other day. Just see what happens and don't worry about me" Aiden explained as he drove quickly down the back roads that would soon lead to the streets near their homes.

"I can't help it.....you had the same expression on your face as you did before and I don't like being responsible for that look"

Aiden pulled up outside Spencer's house waiting for her to climb out but she didn't budge.

"No offence Spence but you need to out now"

"Sorry....thanks for the ride...you wanna do something tomorrow?"Spencer asked as she opened the door.

"Call me in the morning...love ya Carlin"Aiden replied with his normal dopey smile as if he had sorted everything out in his head while Spence sat silent. Spencer smiled back and closed the door watching Aiden drive off knowing that he was going to the house that she wanted to be at once again. Spencer glumly walked into her house dropping her keys on the side and grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Bad day?"A voice from the kitchen asked.

"Hey dad...it was good then bad and then confusing" Spencer answered confusing herself aswell as her father.

"What happened?"

"Ashley Davies happened"Spencer laughed a little as the name escaped her mouth.

"She's back?"Arthur Carlin asked feeling very much out of the loop.

"Yep with a sister"

"A sister?"

"Yep and Ashley's definately gay now"

"Ohhh....how does Aiden feel about this?"Arthur asked trying to remember all the information he could about what happened all those summers ago when he was there for his little girl.

"He said it was ok and practically pushed us together but then he saw us kissing. He didn't take it too well but now he's ok with it again...do you follow?"

"I think so....look honey Aiden is clearly trying to be a good friend and he knows how you feel about Ashley. Now that she's back he probably feels a little bit confused even though he thinks he's ok but he's a big boy Spence....let him look after himself" Arthur attempted hoping that his daughter would stop worrying so much about everyone else and just follow her heart.

"It's not that easy"

"You can't punish yourself forever and if Ashley is here then it's your time Spence. Aiden had his chance but it wasn't right so just try"

"Thank you Dad"Spencer said kissing her father on the head.

"No problem and tell Ashley that I expect her to be over for dinner soon"

Spencer smiled at her father and headed straight out the front door banging it loudly behind her. She walked across the street down the familiar short cut that led to the Davies house. Spencer made her way up the drive way hoping that Aiden's car would be gone which it was and that Ashley's car would be there which it was. Spencer crept around the back which she used to do quite a lot when she was younger mostly because Ashley's mother terrified her. Spencer looked around the giant garden which was still lit up by fairy lights which she realised must've been a permanant feature in the landscape now. Spencer knew that she was going to have to face an angry Ashley now and hoped that this new improved version was slightly less vocal than the old Ashley who would happily shout to get her point across when she was annoyed. Spencer took a deep breathe and climbed the fence that was uder Ashley's window hoping that she was pushed back down by a pissed Ashley. Spencer could hear music coming from the room so she crept up slowly so she didn't scare Ashley. Spencer poked her head through the window spotting Ashley jumping around playing one her dad's old electric guitars while wearing her underwear and a purple venom tour waistcoat. Spencer held in her giggle as Ashley jumped around like a complete idiot...a hot idiot Spencer thought to herself as she checked Ashley's perfectly developed, toned body. The distraction nearly made Spencer fall backwards and Spencer's clumsiness caused a noise which soon casught Ashley's attention. The brunette spun around and looked mortified to see a smiling Spencer sat at ther window trying to be casual. Ashley held the guitar so it was covering most of her body which made Spencer smirk.

"I'd give you a 9.5" Spencer joked hoping to get a smile out of the other girl but her attempt was ignored.

"Go away Spence"

"No way....I wanted to apologise" Spencer replied slowly edging off the window sill so she could stand up.

"Did Aiden give you permission?"Ashley snapped not been able to hide her annoyance that Spencer cared more about what Aiden thought.

"Not exactly no....I'm here of my own accord"

"What do you mean not exactly?"

"He is just confused about seeing you and gets upset but he said he's ok now"

"I get upset too Spence but we were kids then and none of us knew what we wanted"

"I knew...I never doubted"

"That's how I feel now..it's how I felt then but I was scared and I knew that you would do everything to make Aiden happy first"

"We broke his heart....and it's not easy to get over a broken heart Ashley"

"My heart wasn't in tact when I left Spencer...it was in pieces actually"

"Look Ashley....I have no idea what is happening here. Only like a week ago I thought I hated you and then you turn up out of nowhere which has complicated my life slightly"

"Why does me being here complicate your life?"

"Because I never thought I'd see you again Ash....I had looked passed what I felt for you and moved on"

"Today really sucks.....I get it Spence just go"

"You're not listening Ash"

"Oh I am....I turn up and tell you I like you then you kiss me to get me back"

"I'm sorry if me kissing you felt like a punishment"

"Not kissing you again will be a punishment Spence..."Ashley replied quickly putting her guitar down on the bed near Spencer waiting for the full rejection.

"Ash...I didn't mean what I said to Aiden earlier....the kiss wasn't silly it was unavoidable....I can't not kiss you and I've felt like that since the first time we kissed and it will never go away...trust me I've tried" Spencer smiled as she took hold of Ashley's stray hand bringing their bodies closer together.

"Oh yea?"Ashley asked with a raised eyebrow with new found confidence.

"You don't want to know"

"Yea you're right shut up and kiss me"Ashley demanded pulling Spencer's head towards her own making their lips clash for the second time that day. This time was far more desperate than before because it was filled with feelings that had been left to brew for over 3 years. The memories of how well they knew one another's bodies came pounding back as Ashley removed Spencer's clothes as quickly as hands would allow her. Ashley took no time in getting Spencer on her bed while she straddled her trailing her lips down Spencer's pulsating body. Ashley's lips grazed Spencer's desperate body which was now slightly beaded with sweet drops of persperation. Spencer rived around beneath Ashley begging for her to touch her in the same way she had done a few years ago. Ashley teasingly looked into Spencer's eyes as she ran her tongue across the blondes hard nipple causing her body to jerk. Ashley moaned as she felt Spencer press against her and both girl's took pleasure from the rocking motion they had started. Ashley held Spencer's hands above her head as she nipped at her extended neck sending shivers down her spine. Ashley smirked as she trailed her finger slowly down Spencer's golden, toned stomach finally venturing beneath Spencer's small blue panties. Ashley kissed Spencer as she eventually entered her, thrusting deeply as their bodies merged into one motion.


	9. Chapter 9

This is a short one but I'm trying to move the story on. Thank you for the reviews and keep them up xx

Chapter 9

Spencer lay as still as possible trying to keep the joy of last night in her mind and also trying to avoid the inevitable dissapointment of everything going wrong just like last time with Ashley but the warmth of the body next to her made her think otherwise. Spencer had never any intention of this happening but there was something about Ashley that she couldn't resist but she knew deep down that she still hadn't forgiven Ashley for leaving. Even after what what happened last night she still felt hesistant and unsure which definately made her feel knew she had to wake up and deal with what her body and opening her weary eyes to see a glowing Ashley lying wide awake next to her.

"Morning"Ashley said before Spencer could even remember how to talk.

"Hey...."

"I know you're shocked that I'm still here"

"To say the least...I'm actually more shocked that I'm still here"Spencer confessed sitting up.

"Why?"

"Ash last night was great but it shouldn't have happened"

"Then why did it?"

Spencer thought about the question but all her thoughts were over run with confusion and fear. She had plenty of fun last night but she knew she couldn't carry this on. Firstly it was Ashley lying next to her and secondly she would be leaving at the end of the summer. Spencer decided that the best thing to do would be nip it in the bud now before things got out of hand.

"It just did....it's not a big deal..just a bit of fun"Spencer said instantly noticing the hurt expression on Ashley's face.

Ashley studied Spencer's face looking for signs of regret or sadness but she saw nothing that indicted that Spencer was lying. Hoping that the hurt wasn't showing Ashley knew she couldn't push Spencer so she swallowed hard and played along.

"You're right...look I need to...I need you to leave now please"Ashley replied trying to hide the hurt hoping that Spencer would just leave without trying to make everything ok.

"Cool I need to get home before my mom has a melt down.....see you around?"Spencer asked as she put on her shirt hurridly.

"Yea sure.....Spence?"Ashley stopped Spencer before she went to climb out the window causing the blond to turn around with a hopeful expression.

"You can use the front door"Ashley instructed with a smirk. Spencer smiled and walked out kicking herself mentally for handling the situation so badly.

Ashley slumped back on her bed as she heard Spencer leave the house but her moment of peace was interrupted by Kyla bounding into the bedroom.

"Just saw Spencer leaving"

"Congrates"Ashley said rolling her eyes knowing so well where this conversation was headed.

"So what happened?"

"I let her leave and acted like I was fine with it"

"Ok why?"

"Last night was amazing...incredible in fact but this morning I could see the fear in her eyes. I knew that she wanted to leave and that she didn't want anything with me other than sex"

"That's not true Ash....she loves you still I can tell by the way she looks at you"

"She used to Kyla but I hurt her too much and I can never take that back or make it better"

"Ash she came to you....she didn't have to come here to see you and you let her leave without telling her how you feel"

"Ky she knows how I feel...at least I think she does but it was just some fun for her last night. I think I just need to get over it and move on"

"Ok new plan"

"I wasn't aware there was an old plan"

"Oh please Ashley why else would we have moved here from LA?You came back here to get Spencer Carlin and you're not giving up until you do"

"That's not true.....ok it is but do not tell anybody or I will kill you"

"Deal...do you want to here my plan?"

"Ok but I make you no promises"

"You need to show her that you don't care"

"That's kind of how I got into this mess in the first place"

"No you got into this mess because you were a selfish brat and now you've grown as a person. I'm not saying that you should run again or be mean but just show her what she's missing"

"This sounds far too teen drama for me"

"Just come out tonight and flirt with some girls maybe even kiss a few...it will drive her insane and hopefully into your arms"

"I can't do that"

"Why?"

"Because I told Spence that I'm not like that so why would I suddenly change?"

"Because you've realised that you were holding out for girl that will never return your affections......it's perfect"Kyla said gleefully as she danced around the room like a demonic puppeteer.

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Spencer had managed to stay busy all day and was just on her way to pick up the photos from the lake that she had taken to photography store. As she waited in the queue she fought her memories from last night and tried her best to stay focused on the basic tasks she had set herself for the day.

"Miss Carlin?"A female voice called from behind the counter pulling Spencer from her none Ashley thoughts.

"Yep....here you go"Spencer replied passing the ticket to the tall, black haired girl behind the counter. Spencer couldn't help but check out how stunning her bright blue eyes were and the way her cheeks exposed her dimples as she smiled eagerly. The girl popped over to the otherside of the counter bringing to packs of photos that Spencer had had developed.

"Here you go Miss Carlin"

"Thank you....Laney?"Spencer replied reading the name tag. Spencer decided that a good way to stop thinking about Ashley was to get another girl to take her place for a while.

"No problem....?"Laney replied waiting for Spencer to confess her first name.

"Spencer"

"Strange name for a girl"

"I'm not sure that Laney is actually a word let alone a name"Spencer replied with a smile liking the banter already.

"Oooh that hurt so Spencer Carlin are you a photographer or you collecting for your boyfriend?"Laney asked obviously digging for some hints about Spencer's relationship status and her sexual orientation.

"I'm trying to be a photographer....you tell me"Spencer said handing the photos back over to Laney so she can inspect them. She carefully scanned through the photos stopping at the ones of Ashley.

"Girlfriend?"Laney asked with a smirk knowing that Ashley was definately something to Spencer because photos like the ones in her hands do not exist without emotion and feelings.

"No just a friend...you like her?"

"No I prefer Blondes"Laney answered handing back the photos as she had all the information she needed.

"How about blondes with boys names?"

"Definately"

"Good....you wanna meet me at Grays tonight?"Spencer asked with all the swagger of a player.

"Sure"

"Ok I'll see you later Laney"Spencer replied walking off praising herself for taking a step away from Ashley.

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Spencer headed into Gray as is she owned the place heading straight over to Aiden who was talking to a few gym buddies at the bar.

"Hey Aid"

"You're an idiot"Aiden replied ushering Spencer away from his friends.

"Nice to see you too dude...ok what have I done now?"Spencer asked that Aiden wasn't in the mood just by his little pout.

"You....ok this going to sound so weird but you hurt Ashley this morning"Aiden said almost choking on the last part of the setence.

"No I didn't we agreed that it was just a bit of fun"

"Ok I know that you don't normally share many coversations with girls' but you must be aware when somebody is trying to act cool or whatever...even I'm not that dumb"

"Since when do you care how Ashley Davies feels?"

"Since I realised that she really does love you and that she wasn't just trying to hurt me. She cares about you Spence and you hurt her this morning"

"I thought she understood that I didn't want anything serious"

"Drop the act Spence...you would never have gone around there last night if you didn't care about her and don't say it was just for fun because you could get there anywhere"

"Look I know you're trying to impress her sister but drop the perfect boy act Aiden it doesn't work with me. I had feelings for Ashley but I've moved on..."

"That's a load of crap Spence.....you love her still so get over yourself and do something about it or leave Ashley alone"

"She's the one that came back....I didn't go looking for her...she came here"

"Exactly so show her you're not a complete ass"

"Drop it Aiden I came out to have fun tonight not guess which Aiden is coming out to play!!Do you like Ash?do you hate her?Do want me to stay with her forever or do you want me to stay away?I have my own issues Aid without having to guess what you want me to do aswell. I'm home for the summer and I'm going to have some fun along the way"

"I just want you to be happy"

"Oh I will be when my date gets here"

"Date?"

"Yea some girl I met when I was getting my photos"

"You are impossible Carlin...I'm going to find Kyla...hope you have fun"

Spencer watched her best friend walk off and automatically felt like a complete bitch. She knew that Aiden is just looking out for her but she didn't want to be told what or who to do. Spencer was trying to continue her day without thinking of Ashley but it was getting harder and harder which made Spencer thankful that she would be leaving in a couple of months. Spencer grabbed a beer and waited for Laney to turn up. As she stood waiting for Laney she couldn't help but take a glance at the table Aiden was sat at just to see if Ashley was there and she was. Spencer grew anxious as she saw a small blond girl sat next to the brunette touching her and laughing in sync with her. Luckily Spencer was put out of her misery as Laney approached from the other side of the bar.

"Hey I'm glad you came"Spencer said giving Laney a slight smile.

"Yea me too....do you need a drink?"Laney asked removing her small jacket revealing her incredible body which was barely covered with a skin tight dress. Spencer almost had to reel her eyes back in as she scanned the taller girls curves not spotting on imperfection.

"Yes please"Spencer replied swallowing hard trying to keep her cool but she couldn't stop staring.

Laney leaned over the bar and grabbed to beers passing one to Spencer who pretty much downed the fizzy beverage in one. Spencer took Laney's hand and pulled her to the garden so she could have a cigarette deliberately taking her past the table where Aiden was sat.

Ashley spotted Spencer headed over so she placed her hands on the blond girls leg and tried to look interested in whatever she was saying but her attention was drawn to the tall, dark haired girl that was holding Spencer's hand. Ashley tried to look away but the jealousy and frustration wouldn't let her. Ashley knew that Spencer had been with other girls since her but actually seeing it with her own two eyes made her feel things that she didn't know were possible.

"Kyla I need to talk to you"Ashley said grabbing her sister pulling her away from the table.

"I can't do this"Ashley said signalling for Kyla to look outside.

"Ok what do you want to do?Go home and pine over Spencer?"

"Yes that would be great"

"Tough...you've been doing that for years and I'm sick of it. Just try my plan and if it doesn't work then I'll give up"

"You are impossible"

"I just want you to be happy....just flirt some more with....ally?"

"Alex actually.....how will work if Spencer's sat out there?"

"She'll be back in...trust me"

Ashley sat back at her seat next to Alex and smiled hoping that this girl didn't mind Ashley using her.

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After an hour and a few drinks Spencer decided to head back inside to see if Ashley was still there. As they walked past the group who were still there Spencer caught Kyla's eye and immediately regretted it.

"Oh my god Spence....I didn't know you were out"Kyla shouted over dramatically as she stood up.

"Really?I thought you would've been updated"Spencer replied looking at Aiden with a raised eyebrow.

"You and your friend should join us...we have loads of room.I feel I should get to know you better especially as I'll be seeing a lot of you"Kyla offered moving down the bench so Spencer and Laney could sit down. Spencer shifted awkardly and looked at Ashley.

"Oh yea Spence please join us...it'll be fun"Ashley said responding to the kick under the table.

"It's ok Spence I don't want to keep you from your friends all night"Laney said with a friendly smile. Spencer wanted to kick all of the people around the table for making her feel uncomfortable especially the girl touching Ashley. Spencer gave in a slid onto the table closely followed by Laney.

"Guys this is Laney...Laney this is everyone"Spencer said glumly giving half arsed introductions to strangeness was interrupted by a waitress that Spencer heading over.

"Spence....I didn't know you back"the waitress said with an angry look on her face.

"Jesus....hey Demi...I'm just back for the summer" Spencer replied standing up and giving her old lover a hug. Aiden couldn't help but giggle to himself as he watched his best friend looking more than embarrased.

"You should've called...I've missed you" Demi said tracing a finger down Spencer's torso causing her body to jerk back away from the touch.

"Can we talk later Demi?"

"Sure...you want any drinks?"Demi answered looking offended.

"A bottle of tequila and 6 beers please"Spencer said taking her seat again and praying for the floor to swallow her whole.

"Wow Spence...you seem quite popular"Ashley said as she watched Demi walk off.

"I wouldn't say that"

"You're being modest Spence....she seemed really into you"Ashley continued.

"Yea well we were good friends after I got fucked over by somebody a while ago"Spencer replied returning the glare.

"So Laney are you one of Spencer's good friends?"Ashley asked clearly not caring or paying any attention to the kicks from under the table.

"Not yet but we only just me today...you never know"Laney replied trying to stick up for Spencer. Spencer smiled at the answer and placed her hand on Laney's thigh hoping that Ashley saw.

"Good luck with that...oh look alcohol"Ashley said noticing another bar maid heading over with the order. The waitress laid the drinks onto the table and smiled at Spencer as she put down the tequila.

"Spencer have you fucked every female that works here?"Ashley snapped making Aiden burst out laughing which earned him evil glares from both Kyla and Spencer. Alex and Laney looked around the table obviously feeling uncomfortable with the clear tension between Ashley and Spencer.

"Aiden why don't go with Spencer for a smoke" Kyla demanded and her demand was followed by Aiden he got up and walked towards the garden. Spencer still sat there and fought the guilt that she felt now that Ashley knew what she was like. Laney saw the look on Spencer's hurt face and clicked that the girl in the photo did come with emotions. Laney decided to help out and whispered into Spencer's ear hoping that Ashley saw every second of it.

"Smile as if I've said something dirty and then follow me outside"Laney whispered pressing her body against Spencer. Spencer did as instructed and let her eyes focus on Laney as she stood up rather than Ashley. Ashley grabbed the tequila and poured herself a shot downing it in one.

"This is going really well"Ashley sighed as she finsihed her drink.

"Look Ashley this is getting a bit weird for me now plus I think that blond chick is going to punch me"Alex said letting go of Ashley's leg.

"I'm sorry Alex I didn't know this was going to happen"Ashley said glumly.

"I'll stick around if you want but make sure she doesn't mame me"Alex giggled

"Thank you so much for this by the way...I totally owe you"

"Hang on....are you two not really on a date?"Kyla asked tearing her attention away from her phone.

"No...Alex is an old friend who I bumped into the other day"

"Alex are you even gay?"

"Yes...but not for Ashley"Alex laughed.

"Kyla what the hell am I supposed to do now?"

"Just talk to her rather than make digs"

"She deserves it for whoring it about while I didn't even date another girl....I'm a freaking idiot"Ashley said bitterly.

"I'm going to grab Aiden"Kyla moaned as she stood up and walked outside over to the threesome.

"Hey Aid....so you wanna come dance?"Kyla asked giving him no chance to answer as she dragged him a away.

"So Spencer you love Ashley?"Laney asked laughing.

"No....we had a thing but now we don't"

"I find that hard to believe....you too have so much tension going on between the you"

"Why are you still here then?"

"Because you're hot and this is actually quite funny"

"I'm glad you find my evening from hell entertaining but I feel bad"

"Don't feel bad Spence....I'm a big girl and I can handle this plus I'm not looking for anything major....just some fun"Laney said kissing Spencer passionately.. Spencer returned the kiss but with not as much passion although still enjoying the welcome distraction. Spencer eventually pulled away to see Ashley stood a few feet away looking destroyed.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for long wait between updates but thank you all for keeping with me on this. Your reviews are awesome and very much welcome so keep with it

Chapter 10

Ashley couldn't tear her eyes away from the two girls kissing in front of her. She obviously knew that Spencer had moved on with many girls in the past few years but actually seeing it really hurt in fact shley felt the sudden need to rip out her own eyes to avoid the pain that was rushing through her. Her feet wouldn't let her move no matter how much she willed them to and then when Spencer's eyes met with Ashley's the running away became easy. Ashley turned and headed back into the club pushing through the crowds of people not caring how hard she pushed. She could hear voices cussing her as she pushed through but she just needed to escape. Her plan came to a hault as she banged straight into Alex who had been dancing.

"Shit...I'm sorry"Ashley yelled above the music as she realised who she had nearly knocked out.

"Hey it's cool you ok Ash?"Alex asked realising that Ashley had tears in her eyes and she was obviously looking for somebody in the crowd.

"No...I just saw Spencer kissing that girl she was with and...well it sucked"Ashley confessed feeling like an idiot.

"You two are idiots...."

"Excuse me?"

"You like each other but you are too busy playing these bullshit jealousy games"

"I'm done with the games now....."

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Ok..cool...well Spencer's heading over now holding hands with Laney...I was going to kiss you but if you're not playing games" Alex said with a teasing smile calling Ashley's bluff. Ashley saw Spencer heading over and broke just like Alex knew she would going in for the kiss. Alex returned the kiss hoping that this show would encourage Spencer to do something.

Spencer spotted the embrace a few feet back but up close it really stung. Spencer realised that she had never seen Ashley kiss anyone but Aiden before and it realy hurt. Spencer had never been jealous even when Ashley was dating Aiden there was no jealously but this was new and intense. Spencer couldn't hold it back from nowhere she bumped into the kissing pair knocking them apart.

"I'm so sorry....guess I've had too much to drink"Spencer giggled looking at the expression on Ashley's face.

"Yea you should leave"Ashley snapped.

"Maybe you should both leave together"Kyla butted in from the dance floor.

"Maybe you should butt out little sister" Ashley said giving her sister a filthy look.

"I'm trying but it's getting hard watching you two fuck about"Kyla argued only for Aiden to get in the middle.

"I'm going"Ashley yelled at nobody in paticular.

"ASHLEY!!!"Spencer yelled as she stumbled through the door into the car park where Ashley was trying to get in her car as quickly as possible only to be stopped by Spencer.

"Leave me alone Spencer"Ashley yelled as she climbed into her car.

"I will if you promise to not drive home" Spencer replied wedging herself between the door and the car so Ashley couldn't drive off.

"I'm fine to drive"

"No you're not"

"Like you even care"Ashley spat as she went to put the keys into the ignition only to be stopped by Spencer once again who grabbed the keys and walked off.

"Give me my keys Spencer"Ashley yelled getting out of the car.

"You can have them in the morning"

"I want to go home"

"Fine we'll get a cab"

"I want to go home alone"Ashley replied angrily for more than one reason.

"Fine I'll get two cabs"Spencer said grabbing her cell phone to dial the cab company.

"I can get my own cab so you can go back inside"

"I don't want to go back inside"

"Well you're not welcome here"Ashley said walking off only for Spencer to follow her.

"Look Ash.....that wasn't supposed to happen"

"You were on a date....last time I checked that's what happens on dates"

"What about your date?"

"Didn't work out....can you go away please"

"Didn't seem that way"

"Just go Spencer"

"I'm not going anywhere....until I know you're safe and at home"Spencer answered as she searched the roads for empty cabs.

"I've managed for the last few years without you so I'm pretty sure I can survive"

"Just humour me"Spencer asked as she hailed over a cab opening the door for Ashley to get in which she finally did reluctantly. Spencer decided that the only way to talk to Ashley now was to force it so she climbed in and gave directions before Ashley could argue.

"Why are you still here?"

"Because we live right by each other plus I like it when you're mad at me" Spencer joked hoping to get a smile out of Ashley but the brunette only managed a sneer which Spencer expected really.

"I'm not mad at you"Ashley finally said under her breathe.

"That look on your face begs to differ"

"I'm pissed at myself for thinking that....you know what never mind Spencer"Ashley saw that the driver was pulling into her drive so she figured that there was no need to carry the conversation. Ashley climbed out the cab passing ther driver some money and headed off up her drive way only to be followed by Spencer again.

"Seriously Spence....I'm home, I'm safe....you can go now"

"Why you pissed at yourself?"Spencer asked ignoring Ashley's request.

"Because Spence....I came back here to make everything ok with you and i think it was a mistake"

"You didn't expect for everything just to be great did you?"Spencer replied going on the defensive.

"I didn't expect you to use me either"Ashley snapped back getting fed up with Spencer making her look like some monster with no heart.

"Welcome to my life a few years ago. I didn't expect to fall in love with my best friend, I also didn't expect her to use me then run off only to return a few years later to make everything better"

"Clearly I'm wasting my time so I'm just gonna leave"Ashley said walking into her house closely followed by Spencer who had decided that tonight was the night for everything to be dealt with. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or just the need for closer but she needed to get this over and done with.

"What did you honestly expect to happen Ash?Did you think that I would just forget how shit you made me feel when you left?Maybe I would just forget that you broke my heart in two and then left me to deal with it all"

"I left to make everything better..."

"Yes for you not for anybody else!!!You're a fricking coward and that's why you left Ashley. You don't like been the bad guy so you just left....leaving me to be the bad guy"

"It didn't make it any better.....I had nobody. I left the two people that I loved the most because I was scared of how you made me feel....I'd never wanted somebody as much as I wanted you then...and the worst thing is nothing has changed for me Spence.I still feel that way....the minute I saw you again I knew that I'd never get over you"

"Then why didn't you come back sooner?why didn't you get in contact?"

"I was so sure that you would've moved on to somebody better than me....somebody that wouldn't be scared of how you make them feel because you're incredible Spencer"

"Your plan failed Ashely because there was never anybody that made me feel the way you did"Spencer wanted to stop the words leaving her mouth but it was too late and she knew that there was no taking any of this back. Spencer had never wanted Ashley to know how she felt or how much it hurt but she couldn't keep it quiet anymore.

"Did?...so you don't feel that way anymore?"Ashley asked sounding more heart broken than before.

"I don't know how I feel Ash....one minute I hate you and the next minute I just want to kiss you"

"Which one is it Spence?you can't kiss other girls and then come running after me....you should be just kissing me"Ashley said with a smile at the end as she considered kissing the blonde again.

"I didn't kiss Laney....she kissed me and I didn't stop her plus you were there with Amy"

"You mean Alex?"

"Whatever"

"Alex is the second girl I've kissed since you and that was only because she appealed to my competitive nature plus I hoped kissing her would make you jealous"Ashley confessed

"It kind of worked.....ok it definately worked"Spencer said with a smile.

"Really?"Ashley asked in feign shock

"Yes....I didn't like it one bit"

"So does that mean you like me?"Ashley asked with a hopeful smile trying not to push her luck though. Spencer was trying her best to keep a straight face but ultimately seeing Ashley smile made her react in the same way and she couldn't fight it no matter how hard she tried. Ashley saw the smile appear on Spencer's face which made her body automatically relax again.

"You're ok I suppose"Spencer repiled with a giggle hating deep down that Ashley broke down all her barriers without even trying.

"I can live with ok"

"Can you live with coming out with me some time?"Spencer asked knowing that it was too late to go back now.

"Ok but just us two?"Ashley stipulated.

"Deal"

"So Spencer Carlin.....do you put out on the first date?"Ashley asked with a raised eyebrow taking a seat next to Spencer on the stairwell.

"Sometimes....I don't actually wait for the first date"Spencer replied kissing Ashley who pulled away much to Spencer's annoyance.

"Well I don't"Ashley said with a smile as she made her way up the stairs leaving Spencer sat gobsmacked. Spencer gave herself a minute to collect herself only to be disturbed by Ashley dropping her shirt from the top the stairs. Spencer looked up to see Ashley stood in her underwear at the top of the stairs. Spencer scanned over her body taking in every inch of the perfection that stood there and she couldn't act calm anymore. She rushed to the top of the stairs pully Ashley to the bedroom without a second of hesitation.

"


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews please keep them coming otherwise I don't know if you like it or not xxx

Chapter 11

Spencer crept out of bed carefully removing the grip that Ashley had around her waist. She didn't want to wake up the slumbering girl because she had assumed she would have some sort of hang over plus it ruin the surprise. Spencer quietly put all her clothes back on while searching the giant room for a pen and paper which were nicely placed next to Ashley's guitar. She scribbled down a quick note and as an after thought Spencer leaned out the bedroom window pulling a small flower from the vines that ran up the side of the house. She placed the note with the small flower on the pillow that Ashley was sleeping on then with a small kiss Spencer left the bedroom.

Ashley stirred as she felt the front door close and it was far too early for anybody in her household to move or at least she assumed it was. Ashley suddenly remembered the hot blonde that had shared her bed for the second time that week and she also remembered tat Spencer had a tendency to run. Ashley shot up straight frantically searching for Spencer or her clothes which were all missing from the room. Ashley felt crushed once again hating herself for falling for Spencer again. She threw her head back onto the pillow only to find it rather uncomfortable so she sat up and found the gifts that were left for her. She opened up the note first "_Hey pretty girl, sorry I couldn't stay but I had stuff to do. Last night was amazing so please don't think that I've ran off or anything like that. Anyway I'll pick you up at 8pm...be ready Sxxxx" _Ashley smiled to herself as she read the note again and let out a sigh of relief as realised that maybe everything might be ok. Ashley literally skipped down the stairs into kitchen searching for a much needed cup of coffee which she hoped Kyla had prepared but her perfect morning was ruined by the sight of Aiden in his boxers.

"This is weird"Ashley laughed as Aiden stood there just as shocked and probably more embarassed.

"I...we....um"Aiden stuttered

"Don't worry I need explanation....just take whatever you want and leave"Ashley interrupted not wanting to know one single detail about Aiden and Kyla. Aiden grabbed some fruit and pratically ran through the kitchen and up the stairs. Within seconds of Aiden dissapearing Kyla arrived looking quite annoyed at Ashley.

"Oh so you're alive then"Kyla snapped grabbing a coffee cup from near Ashley.

"Don't be dramatic Ky...."

"Well your car isn't on the drive and you left upset last night"

"Well the night ended on a high so all is good little sister"Ashley replied almost singing her words through sheer happiness.

"Who are you and what the hell have you done with my sister?"Kyla asked dramatically for effect.

"Still here...I'm just happy"

"So you and Spence made up?"

"To say the least"

"That's good because your dates hooked up so that could've been way more weird than the evening already was"

"Good for them"

"Ok seriously tell me what happened before my head explodes"Kyla demanded.

"We argued.....we explained...we made up....twice"Ashley explained with a wicked smile and some very happy memories from last night.

"So?"

"We're going out on an actual date tonight"

"Isn't it a bit late for dating?"

"No way....it'll be perfect....Spencer is organising it"

"Woooo well I hope you have fun"Kyla said relieved that those two may have sorted their shit out.

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Spencer hopped out the shower and headed downstairs to grab some juice.

"Somebodies a little happy" A voice stated from the kitchen door on noticing Spencer dancing around the small family kitchen.

"Hey Glen"Spencer replied spotting her big brother.

"So who's the lucky girl?"

"Ashley Davies"

"What?"

"You know Ashley"

"Yes I know who Ashley is but I also thought you hated her and she had vanished"Glen replied looking more than confused as he was the one that helped Spencer when Ashley left and Aiden wouldn't talk to her.

"Well she's back...we argued about it and then we made up"Spencer explained with the same goofy smile that had graced Ashley's face earlier.

"Ok...just be careful little S"

"I think I know what I'm doing...sort of"

"Ok I trust ya...where are rents?"Glen asked as he scoured the fridge for a snack.

"No clue but I need to figure out what to do tonight"

"What do you mean?"

"Me and Ash are actually having a date tonight"

"So?"

"So I have no clue what to do"

"You've dated loads of girls before this should be a breeze"

"But it's not just a girl...it's Ashley Davies and it's not like normal dates"

"How so?"

"We've already done everything else so it feels like I'm kind of going in reverse if that makes sense?"

"I suppose...."Glen was distracted by his cell phone going off which made him leave the room. Spencer rolled her eyes in frustration and headed back up to her room knowing that Geln would be on the call for a while. Spencer needed somebody to talk to but her only other option was Aiden which she didn't feel comfortable with no matter how much he tried to reassure her. Spencer spent the next half an hour mindlessly listening to music racking her brains for ideas on how to impress Ashley but coming up against a brick wall everytime. Spencer's ponderings were soon disturbed by Aiden falling through her bedroom window with no style or grace making Spencer giggle.

"Not your best entrance Dennison"

"I was going for drunk baby"Aiden joked as he pulled himself together. Spencer stood still watching the window as if she were expecting somebody else to stumble into her room.

"No Kyla?"

"Point taken....I'm a bad friend"Aiden replied catching on to the fact that Spencer was having a dig about his lack of attention on his friend this summer.

"Yea just awful....so seriously where is Kyla?"

"With Ash who seemed extremely smiley this morning"

"Good for her"

"Apparently you are"

"Ok just say whatever you're here to say"

"Calm down jumpy I'm actually here to check you're all good and also to make sure you weren't having some sort of melt down"

"Hmmm...no melt down just yet but I am getting close"

"Why?"

"Because first of all a lot has changed in the past few weeks incase you hadn't noticed"

"Yea but these changes are for the best I think...."

"How do you know?"

"I just have a feeling"

"Do you have any feelings about what I should do with Ashley tonight?"

"No offence Spence I'm ok with you two seeing each other but I'm not going to tell you how to do that"Aiden laughed implying that Spencer had asked about sex earning an evil look.

"Wow I never knew you were so funny"

"I never knew you could get nervous over a girl"

"There's only one girl I get nervous over and it's the girl I'm taking on a date tonight"

"Come on Spence it's Ashley not some stranger that you just want to fuck and ignore"

"You make me sound like such a nice girl"

"If the cap fits"

"Seriously dude help me?"

"Spence you grew up with Ashley....you know what she likes. Just forget all the other bullshit and start over"Aiden instructed as headed back over to the window.

"Thanks yoda"

"Sorry to drop pearls of wisdom and leave but I promised Kyla I would go with her to buy her new car"

"Well don't let me stop ya....see you later Aid"Spencer said as she watched Aiden climb out the window and disappear.

_Think Spencer....think_

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Spencer nervously checked her reflection in the rear view mirror of her car and decided that she look ok knowing that she wasn't really worried about how she looked at the moment. The fear was more focused on whether Ashley would be impressed by the date she had managed to throw together this afternoon after her chat with Aiden. Spencer decided to go to the front door thinking that this would be more date like. Kyla answered the door with a cheesy smile that made Spencer laugh to herself.

"You look great Spence"Kyla gushed as she let the nervous blonde in the house.

"Thanks....is she ready?"Spencer asked looking around the streched hall ways for sign of the girl.

"ASHLEY!!!!"Kyla yelled causing Spencer to jump slightly. There was no responce other than the sound of foot steps from the kitchen. Spencer's eyes found the cause of the noise and felt slightly dumbfounded when she focused on Ashley. Her perfect brown hair was set in soft curls, that framed her eligant face that seemed almost perfectly lit in the early evening sun. Spencer's eyes moved down the brunette's body taking in the tiny skirt and band tee that Ashley had probably spent ages thinking about so she looked effortless. Spencer could barely gather her thoughts but managed to pull herself back down to earth so she could put together a sentence of some description.

"Ready?"Spencer finally squeezed out as she tried to control the blushing that was errupting across her face.

"Yea....I didn't know what to wear so I went casual"Ashley replied self consciously as she looked over her outfit mentally comparing herself to Spencer.

"No you look great....the outfits great.....it's fine"Spencer stuttered earning a stifled laugh from Kyla and a shy smile from Ashley.

"So do I get any clues?"Ashley asked heading out the door so they could continue the date without Kyla watching their every move.

"Just get in the car Davies"Spencer demanded opening the door to her just washed mini cooper.

"Kind of like it when you're bossy"Ashley said with a smirk as she climbed into the passenger seat.

Spencer started the car and drove off heading down some country lanes.

"Spencer I can't take it please tell me"

"Ash we've been in the car for like a minute and it doesn't matter how much you whine, I'm not going to tell you"

"You're mean"

"You're acting like a child. Just be patient please"

"Ok but only because you asked so nicely" Ashley said with a smile as she sat back enjoyed the remainder of the journey. Spencer turned the car into a small car park and came to a stop getting a blank look from Ashley.

"You gonna kill me?"

"Haha, nope just close your eyes and wait"Spencer said taking Ashley's hands and placing them over her eyes. Spencer check that Ashley wasn't peeking and pressed the button to bring down the roof on the car while honking the horn once. Ashley jumped at the sound of the horn but kept her hands in place as instructed.

"Ok Miss Davies open your eyes"Spencer instructed. Ashley opened her eyes and followed the light of the headlights which showed an old confused she stared blankly at Spencer waiting for an explanation.

"You shouldn't have?"

"Just wait but before anything happens you will need this and this"Spencer said passing Ashley a coke and a box of chocolate covered cookie dough balls. As Ashley examined the objects that Spencer had given her she noticed a loud clicking noise that was soon followed by a something reflecting onto the side of the barn. Ashley stared in amazement as The Little Mermaid started playing on the side of the barn with the sound surrounding just them from nowhere.

"Oh My God Spencer a drive in movie?"Ashley pointed out darting her eyes between a gleaming Spencer and the movie that was now playing.

"Just for us"

"This is incredible Spence....I haven't seen this movie since we were kids"

"I remember a little Ashley getting really annoyed that Ariel was so bothered about Eric because you didn't understand what the fuss was about....go figure"Spencer giggled taking a sip of her drink.

"I should've figured everything out a lot sooner" Ashley replied looking a bit disheartened as the guilt of her actions flashed through her mind like they often did. Spencer noticed the look on Ashley's face and felt that she should do something to get the smile back.

"You got it just in time Ash"Spencer finally said with a smile as she took Ashley's hand in her own giving it a gentle kiss. Both girls' adjusted their positions so they could watch the rest of the movie and just enjoy being around each other again.


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry for the long wait but I'm very lazy sometimes,lol. Anyway, enjoy and review xxxx

Chapter 12

As the movie came to an end so did the clicking of the projector leaving the two girls in complete silence. Spencer looked over at Ashley who was literally smiling from ear to ear. and couldn't help but feel warm inside.

"Thank you Spence that was amazing"

"You didn't think it was lame?"

"No it was sweet and thoughtful....just how I remember you"Ashley said with a smile as she took Spencer's hand in her own.

"So what now?"Spencer asked nervously fiddling with her steering wheel.

"I have no idea...this is kind of new to me"Ashley confessed shyly.

"Did you seriously never date when moved?"

"Yep...I just wasn't sure what I wanted...well, other than you anyway"

"Why didn't you come back sooner?"Spencer asked hoping that her line of questioning wouldn't lead to another arguement.

"I wanted to so much but there was Kyla and then my dad died....plus when I did make an appearance I saw you macking with some chick" Ashley replied with a smile hoping that Spencer didn't think she was taking a dig at her.

"Sorry about that........sorry about all of them Ash. It's just that I find it easier to keep things uncomplicated especially now I'm at college" Spencer tried her best to explain her actions feeling guilty that Ashley never dated anyone unlike her.

"Oh yea...college when do you go back?"Ashley asked as if she had only just clicked.

"In about 2 months or so...I'm not sure really"Spencer suddenly felt the need to be vague about the whole going back to college thing deep down wishing that she had never mentioned it.

"I bet you can't wait"

"I don't know....I'm kind of liking it here at the moment plus the start of the new term isn't for ages"

Ashley didn't know what to say mostly because she had spent so much time trying to get Spencer to like her again that she hadn't considered her leaving to go back to college. Ashley knew she had no right to say anything as things were still brand new between them but she knew in her heart that she didn't want to lose Spencer again for any reason. Ashley decided that she would be best off just acting cool about the whole college thing for now as she didn't know where any of this was going and she didn't want to push Spencer into a corner over it.

"Do you live in dorms?"Ashley finally asked after what seemed like a 3 minute pause.

"No I share a house with some friends off campus"

"That's cool I wish had gone to college"

"Why didn't you?"

"I got in to a bunch of places but I defered them for a year to work at my dad's label and then he died so I just stopped doing anything really"

"What do you mean?"

"I just stopped....I stopped working, stopped playing, stopped writing...I just stopped"

"What changed?"

"An e-mail"Ashley answered after careful consideration.

"An e-mail?I get those everyday and they really don't change my life"

"It was from Aiden"

"What?"

"He sent it like 6 months ago"

"What did it say?"

"Just that he was over what happened and that you weren't"

"But he had no idea you were coming back"

"I never replied.....didn't know what to say and he never mentioned it again not even to Kyla"

"He had no right to do that"

"He just cares about you Spence and I'm glad he did because otherwise this wouldn't be happening right now"

"Would you have come back if you didn't get the email?"

"I don't know the answer to that Spence but I'm so happy that I did come back. The e-mail just gave me the confidence I needed to come back and see you without it I probably would've still tried but I always thought that you would've contacted me"

"Ash no offence but you left me here after breaking my heart.....also I did try to contact you but your cell was disconnected"

"Look we're having a good night let's not ruin it Spence"

"I did try one time to find you" Spencer said under her breathe not knowing whether she wanted Ashley to hear her or not.

"What?"

"hen I was looking at Colleges I applied to UCLA hoping that maybe I might see you. I know it was a stupid idea but it was a last ditch attempt"

"It wasn't stupid Spence....I would've gone to UCLA if I went to any college"

"You should go"

"Excuse me?"Ashley asked panicked.

"To college, you should go. You're far too smart to not go and plus you'd love it"

"I don't think it's for me"

"Well what is?"

"This right here, right now Spence" Ashley replied kissing Spencer so they could finally end the conversation about the future which was never Ashley's favourite topic. Spencer indulged in the kiss quite happily and basked in the sweetness that was Ashley Davies.


	13. Chapter 13

Ok I realise they I have vanished off the face of the earth and I hope that you actually remember this story. Please let me know what you think and stick with me because it will be worth it...i hope

Chapter 13

Spencer drove Ashley home after a heavy make out session hoping for an invite up stairs so they could continue their date. Spencer pulled the car up at the far end of the long drive way.

"Thanks Spence"

"Thank you Ash....this was great...and I kind of don't want it to end"Spencer replied in between kisses.

"I'm not that sort of girl Miss Carlin" Ashley joked returning the never ending kisses slowly backing out of the car leaving a dumbfounded Spencer sat in her car. Ashley giggled as she watched the shocked expression grow on Spencer's face.

"Ok I totally I am that sort of girl..get your cute ass over here Carlin" Ashley finally shouted causing Spencer to practically leap out of her car. Running over to Ashley and kissing her as if they had been apart for days rather than seconds. Ashley led Spencer to the front door struggling to open it in between passion laced kisses. After finally bursting through the door Spencer manages to push the brunnette against a wall continuing their never ending passion. As Ashley forces herself away from Spencer to remove her shirt she notices voices in the living room causing her to be pulled from her Spencer bubble. Ashley follows the voices to the giant living area tailed by a flustered Spencer.

"Bella?"Ashley barely whispers as she recognises the tall, dark haired girl sat talking to her sister on the sofa.

"Oh hi Ash...I tried to call"Kyla answers instead noting the look of shock mixed with anger on her older sister's face.

"My cell's upstairs....I'm..."

"You're topless Ash....not that I'm complaining" The girl that Spencer assumed was Bella interrupted.

"And you're in my house"Ashley replied still completely phased.

"You changed your number and I didn't know what else to do Ashy"Bella explained standing up and walking to other side of the sofa so she was closer to Ashley which made Spencer even more tense that she already felt.

"Did you not think that maybe I didn't want to talk to you?"Ashley snapped back with nothing but venom.

"Why wouldn't you want to talk to her Ash?"Spencer piped up needing an explanation for this whole crazy scenario. Ashley looked at Spencer as if she had only just remembered she was a witness to this uncomfortable reunion and all Spencer could see in her eyes was desperation. The look that Ashley would give her when they first starting fooling around behind Aiden's back.

"Spence I can explain"Ashley answered with begging eyes that were laced with tears.

"I'm sure you can but I don't wanna hear it" Spencer spat as she went to leave only for Ashley to follow out the front door.

"Spence wait....it's not what you think"

"I don't care what it is but I know that look Ash and I know that you've lied to me...yet again"Spencer shouted not really caring who heard her.

"I'm sorry"

"Grow up Ashley...these little games and lies are pointless...and I am so over them"Spencer sniped with a bitter laugh as she climbed into her car speeding down the drive way needing to get away from the house that had been the scene of many show downs previously. Spencer took one look at Ashley in her rear view mirror swearing to herself that this would be the last time she looked those beautiful but hurtful eyes. Spencer couldn't understand why Ashley would lie to her about having a past or even an ex but knew that she would be sticking around to find out. Spencer knew the only place she could go would be Aiden's so she headed there on auto pilot hoping for refuge and not a big fat I told you so.

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Ashley watched as the Spencer disappeared out the gates knowing that she had blown her last chance with the girl she had loved for so long. Knowing that she would need to deal with Bella she headed back inside only to be met by a more than pissed off Kyla.

"What the hell was that Ash?"

"Why did you let her in?"Ashley answered hoping to dust over the fact she had fed Spencer a huge lie.

"I mean it Ash you better tell me"

"I told Spence that I haven't been with anyone since I left here"

"Why?"

"Because I thought that she would believe how much it hurt me to leave when I did, I thought she would like me more for it...I just wanted her so badly and now it's gone"

"You are an idiot Ash...you've fucked this up and there's another girl you've fucked over in your bedroom...nice work big sister"Kyla said as she walked away from Ashley knowing that if she stood there any longer she would just get mad which wouldn't help this situation any further. Ashley swallowed hard and headed upstairs only noticing that she was still in her bra as she entered her bedroom for round 3.

"Is that the Spencer girl you always talked about?"Bella asked looking at the photos around Ashley's room taking in the candid snaps of a younger Ashley hugging Spencer and a model like boy.

"Yes....why are you here?"

"I needed to talk to you"Bella said slowly sauntering towards Ashley.

"Next time use facebook"

"Ashy....I know you didn't mean to hurt me"Bella explained placing her hands on either side of Ashley's exposed body, tracing her lines with her fingers.

"You have no idea"

_FLASHBACK_

_"Ashy...I'll meet you down the stairs"Bella yelled at the bathroom door knowing that her girlfriend would be in there for a while. Bella knew that Ashley wouldn't reply so she carried on down to the bar below their apartment._

_Ashley heard Bella perfectly fine but was using the bathroom as a refuge knowing that the conversation she was about to have would be pretty awful but nothing compared to the last few conversations she shard with Spencer or even Aiden before she left. Ashley had spent 6 months of her life pretending with Bella who was a fantastic girl. She was tall with raven back hair, bright green eyes and dimples to die for but she was never enough for Ashley. She craved a girl that had eyes like baby worlds and a smile with no imperfectiosn surrounding it. The girl she left broken in Ohio, the girl that was apparently not over what happened, the girl that she wanted to fight for. Ashley had recieved an e-mail from the only boy she ever loved telling her that she would get one chance to fight for Spencer and this was it. She had recieved this e-mail 5 months ago and she had told nobody. In fact she had completely ignored it for a quite a while knowing that it was more than just typed words in her hotmail inbox..it was permission to continue what she started and was too scared all those years ago to accept. Ashley knew that she going to hurt people in the process but she was used to this and even though it never got any easier the outcome meant that she could have Spencer back in her life again. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror before heading down to the bar that made her apartment floor pulsate from the bass. Ashley made her way through the crowds searching for Bella trying to decide the best way to do this other than just running knowing that this was never a good idea. Instead she had decided that breaking this beautiful girls' heart was far easier than being honest or mature. No, honesty was never Ashley Davies strong point especially after half a bottle of vodka. She found her target which was a new experience for her but the vodka automatically induced the Davie's confidence and charm. Spotting a mildly attractive blonde girl on the dance floor she made her way over and started dancing next to her knowing that the next phase would be happening soon. With in a few minutes of their bodies meeting, grinding and touching Ashley took the opportunity to kiss the girl in full sight of Bella who just like clock work spotted the show._

_It took Ashley all of 30 minutes to destroy a relationship that she had tried to make work so hard but as soon as she thought that she could get Spencer Carlin back in her life all obsticles were invisible to this Davies girl including her girlfriend. Ashley had felt bad but she knew that she had to fight because she had always known that Spencer was worth it._

"Look Bella I'm sorry about what happened but I can't deal with this now".

"Yea well I had to deal with it...really had no choice as you were gone the next day"

"I figured that you wouldn't want to see me"

"Ashy it hurt seeing you kiss that girl but we could've gotten passed that"

"Bella...I didn't believe because of that night...I left because I'm in love with somebody else"

"The angry blonde girl?"

"Yep.."Ashley replied looking down at her feet and feeling very guilty.

"Look Ashy....let's just hang out tonight...just like we used to" Bella suggested as she inch closer to Ashley tracing her fingers over Ashley's exposed abs, closing the gap between them.

"No...Bella...I need you to leave..please"Ashley requested opting to exit the room grabbing a vest on the way out. She just needed to get away from Bella and hide for a while. Ashley climbed into her porche and sped off, not knowing where she was going. She had no idea why she lied to Spencer really and felt like the worlds biggest idiot for fucking this all up.

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"Erm...not quite the girl I expecting"Aiden joked as he sat up on his bed immediately noticing the look on Spencer's face.

"I fell for it again..I'm such a fucking idiot Aid" Spencer practically yelled as she slammed Aiden's bedroom door shut

"Ok..parents are asleep"

"Ugh I'm sorry...I'm just so mad"

"Explain"

"So we go back to Ashley's after a great date to be greeted by somebody I can only assume is an is pretty fucking amazing considering Ashy told me that she hadn't met anybody since she left Ohio"

"Ashy?"

"Focus Aiden"

"So her previously unmentioned ex was at Ashley's?"

"Yea"

"Then what?"

"I tried to stay calm until I realised what was happening so I said some mean things and then left"

"Oh"

"I just can't believe a fell for it...I really thought that this was it and it's all your fault" Spencer suddenly remembered what Ashley had told her earlier.

"Erm...you seriously wanna go there Spence?"Aiden joked

"Ok that part was my fault but you e-mailed her"

"Shit... I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't mention that"

"Yea well she did asshole....I was doing ok without her here"

"No you weren't Spence...you were wasting your life on pointless girls who will never deserve you because you missed Ashley. I was fed up with watching you search for your next Ashley replacement so you reel her in and spit her out. You were damaging yourself and I didn't know what else to do"

"They weren't Ashley replacements"

"Spencer pretty every girl you've slept with since Ash has been a cookie cutter out of her give or take a few lumps and bumps"

"Well good news I'm over her"

"No you're not...sometimes I wish you were but I know you would just be miserable because you'd be lying to yourself"

"Remind me to advertise for a new Aiden when I get back to College because mine is broken"

"I know you don't like what I'm saying and I can hate Ash if you want me, trust me I did it for quite a while but me hating her won't help you"

"I love you Aid"Spencer finally said defeated and tired as she falls into Aiden's embrace allowing herself to relax.

"Love you too S"Aiden replied kissing his best friend on the head as he placed the blanket over her knowing that she would sleeping there tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you all for the fantastic reviews, it's good to know that people are still reading my little story.

Chapter 14

Ashley had no idea how she ended up at her final destination but she was there it felt like the safest place in the world even if she was alone there. She had arrived at Spencer's house about 3am knocking on the window of Spencer's room only to be greeted by complete silence and emptiness which she found quite fitting. Knowing that the window was unlocked she decided that she would wait for Spencer to come home which evidently never happened as Ashley was woken up by the sun burning her eyes as she slept quite peacefully hugging Spencer college sweater. Ashley hoped that Spencer was actually at Aiden's rather than getting some twisted revenge with some skank from a club. Ashley shook her jealous thoughts from her mind as she heard somebody walking to the bedroom door.

"Ashley what are you doing here?"Mrs Carlin asked completely shocked resembling somebody who had just seen a ghost.

"Mrs C...I was waiting for Spencer....sorry"Ashley replied shooting to her feet not really prepared for this paticular meeting.

"She stays out most nights...I'm sorry I didn't realise you had come back...does Spencer know?"

"Yea I've been back for a few weeks now...did Spencer not say anything?"

"She doesn't really tell her mom much anymore"Paula replied with a sad glaze over her eyes.

"Why?"

"I didn't react very well to the gay thing because she seemed so sad when she told us that I thought it was a bad thing plus you and Aiden weren't around for her...she just shut down after that"

"I'm sorry for leaving her like that...I just had to but I'm trying to make it better now"

"Good luck Ashley and welcome back"

"Thanks Mrs C....I'll get going"

"She'll appear soon....where ever she goes she never stays long" Paula explained with a disappointed smile as she left the room. Ashley immediately felt worse than she already did knowing that she may have caused this rift between Spencer and her Mom. Ashley wanted to avoid the upcoming confrontation but knew that she would be better talking to Spencer sooner rather than later. After another half an hour of sitting and waiting Ashley heard Spencer's car pull into the drive. After a few minutes of mumbling down the stairs Spencer finally walked through the door.

"Not now Ashy"Spencer remarked sarcastically as she spotted the brunnette sat on her bed. Something that she would've killed for years ago but now it just hurt more than anything.

"I'm not leaving"

"Well I will"Spencer replied heading back towards the door only to be stopped by Ashley who earned herself a filthy look from the action.

"Spencer I know there are no words to make this better but please know that I had no intention of hurting you. It's just that I wanted you so badly that I lost I would've said anything to get you to want me again"

"Ashley I never stopped wanting you....don't get me wrong I felt a lot of things for you after you left but it never stopped me from wanting you. You didn't need to lie to me about your past or present...I'm hardly a saint but you lying to me just proved that you haven't changed"

"Spence I have changed I swear I'm just so scared of losing you..."

"You've lost me Ash....it's over...I'm not playing these games any more"

"So you're just going to sleep around with girls' that feel nothing for you?"

"It hurts less"

"Does it?Because the girl that I left behind seems empty and cheap frills aren't making her any better"

"Don't give me that crap Ashley...at least those girls' are honest and they know wherethey stand with me.I don't lead them on and I don't lie to them"

"So you're just going to pretend that none of this happened?"

"It's been working pretty fine for me so far"

"Clearly"Ashley snapped back as she was more frustrated at herself for messing everything up with one stupid lie that didn't need to happen.

"You can go now"Spencer snapped opening her bedroom door signalling for Ashley for leave.

"I'm not going to give up Spence...I came back for you and I'm not going anywhere"Ashley explained hoping that Spencer would believe her but Spencer refused to make eye contact making it more difficult for Ashley to read her. Ashley let out a sigh before she left giving Spencer sometime to be mad.

Spencer slammed the door after Ashley had left trying to banish the words that Ashley had said before she left. Spencer wanted everything to be ok with Ashley but having been burnt last time she got involved she had never really held out much hope. Spencer didn't believe that Ashley wouldn't give up because she had given up so easily last time. Spencer decided that a shower would help her wash away that last 24 hours praying that she would feel refreshed and postive when she resurfaced from the cooling water.

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Ashley walked back towards her car which she deliberately parked away from Spencer's house knowing that the feisty blonde would never have come in the house knowing that Ashley was waiting. Ashley decided to take a slight detour via a house she hadn't been too in such a long time. The boy that she onced loved was outside as he always used to be at this time in the am playing basketball. Ashley approached Aiden with care while trying to think of ways to avoid the basketball that she thought may be aimed at her head but instead the sweet boy just smiled at her.

"Were you at Spencer's?"Aiden asked bouncing the ball as he walked closer to Ashley.

"Yep...how did you know?"

"Kyla said you hadn't come home plus I spotted your car while I was jogging"

"Quite the detective in your old age"

"Didn't go well?"

"It could've been worse"

"Really?"

"She didn't kill me"

"Silver lining"Aiden laughed as he threw the orange ball in the net.

"Have I completely fucked it up?"

"Ash you fucked up when you left...this is a whole new level of...well you"

"Excuse me?"

"You hurt Spencer....you hurt me...and you came back to make it right but you've actually made it worse which I didn't think was possible....that's something only you can do"

"Thanks for the pep talk Aiden..I'm just going to throw myself under a train"

"She loves you Ash, she always has...she probably always will but you can't just expect her to forget what's happened especially as you're so intent on making things hard on yourself. Just give her time and space....I hope for you both that she comes around"

"You mean that?"

"Yes...I love Spencer and I want her to be happy even if it is with you"

"Thank you Aid.....I am sorry you know"

"Tell her not me"

"No I mean for what happened between us....if it helps I did love you and I still do but Spencer makes my heart skip a beat whenever I think about her....it's undeniable"

"I get it...now go home and get some sleep you look like crap"Aiden joked with a hug for his old girlfriend.


	15. Chapter 15

Once again thank you all for reviewing, I would thank you all by name but I'm sure you'd rather I just get on with writing....here we go...

Chapter 15

Spencer had decided to escape to the only place that she felt like she could hide away from everything that had gone down lately. She had been in the dark room at the local college for about 3 hours now and it felt good to lock everything away. She was alone which was rare for a saturday which meant that she could just relax while listening to music and developing photos. The guy she was meant to be doing work experience with turned out to be a bit of a flake and was rarely around to drop any pearls of wisdom which was the whole point of her shadowing him. The joy of the dark room was that she could switch off her mobile phone and enjoy the peace of nobody bothering and by nobody she meant Ashley at the moment. Spencer couldn't understand how it had gone from hearing nothing from Ashley for 3 years to her waiting in her room to apologise for something that wouldn't normally bother her. Spencer didn't like the effect that Ashley Davies had on her especially when it made her feel crappy or out of control. Spencer knew that she needed to take control of her life again and she knew just the right place to do that, a place that had never let her down before. Grabbing her finished products from the racks she headed out looking like a girl on a mission while dialling on her mobile.

"Dennison get you're ass ready"Spencer chirped down the phone while fighting to get into her car.

"For?"

"For mindless fun"

"Details please"

"Me and you have a play date at Gray tonight"

"Seriously?"

"Do I sound like I'm joking?"

"I'm not really in the mood Spence"

"Aid don't be lame...I need this"

"I'm hanging out with Kyla tonight"

"Bring her with you"

"I'll ask her but I'm not making any promises"

"Aid it's the summer and we need to start having fun"

"I am having fun Spence....."

"Fine...forget it I'll somebody else"

"You could always ask Ashley" Aiden added knowing that he was about to get his head bitten off.

"Or I could just get rid of all this drama and have some fun"

"Or you could just stop for a second and deal with what's happened"

"Forget it"Spencer snapped in annoyance as her best friend was too loved up to hang out with her when she needed him. She out the key in the ignition and started the engine wondering who else she could contact.

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"That was Spencer....she's on one"Aiden explained to Kyla dropping is phone his bed.

"What do you mean?"

"She's upset so she's trying to get me to be her wing man so she can drink and fuck through the pain"

"You can go be with her if she needs you"

"I'd rather be here plus she needs to stop doing this stuff"

"Do you think she ever will?"

"Maybe...I don't know. Every since Ash left she just refuses to get close to anybody and if she does then she hurts them on purpose..."

"Before they hurt her?"

"Exactly"

"I know that Ash lied about Bella but do you think that maybe Spence was using that as an excuse?"

"Sometimes...I mean Ash is a complete ass for lying but I can see why she did it and I can see why Spence reacted how she did. It's so annoying. Is that chick still about?"

"Bella?"

"Yea"

"She stayed last night after Ash left and she was still there when I came here"

"Does Ashley still have feelings for her?"

"She never had feelings for her"

"Call Ash and get her to come to Gray with us tonight"

"I don't think that's a good idea"

"It's that or we lock them in a room until they sort this out"Aiden half joked.

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"I'm not in the mood" Ashley whined down the phone as she lay on her bed.

"What other options do you have?"Kyla deadpanned

"Erm...I was thinking about some self pity, maybe some jack daniels and some more self pity"

"You are so pathetic"

"Wow thanks Ky"

"Jesus Ash you said you wouldn't give up on her this morning and now you're sat around in your yummy sushi pyjamas slipping into some self induced, The Cure influenced, emo depression"

Ashley sat up and examined the pyjamas she was wearing which were indeed her yummy sushi ones. Ashley considered her options and decided that she her little sister was right...ish.

"Fine Kyla...I'll come but don't expect me to smile"

"I never do...just make me a promise?"

"What?"

"Please get changed and look hot"

"Die"Ashley growled as she dropped the phone and continued staring at the picture of her and Spencer she had taken at the lake while they walking around. Looking at the picture and then at her own reflection taking notice of how pathetic she actually is. Old Ashley Davie's wouldn't give up so easily, there was a time that she was so full of confidence that getting Spencer to forgive her would have taken mere seconds. She immediately stopped The Cure cd that was playing in the back ground and marched her sorry butt into the shower knowing that she needed to get her game face on.

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Spencer sauntered into Gray like she owned the place and she almost tricked herself into feeling good, almost. Spencer weaved through the small crowds that were all around the small club and headed straight to the bar where her drinking buddie was waiting for her.

"Hey little one" Spencer whispered to the small dark haired girl trying to get a drink. The girl turned around with a giant smile on her face which she reserved for special face.

"Hey Spence"Carmen finally replied hugging her and taking in the beautiful sight that is Spencer Carlin.

"Thanks for meeting me Carm...I just needed to get away from everything"

"You mean Ashley?"

"You heard?"

"It's almost an urban legend already but don't worry I won't mention it if you don't want to talk"

"It's fine I just need to let off some steam"

"Well this is the place for it"Carmen said looking around the room at all the girls that were clearly willing and eager. Spencer followed her gaze and although there were some pretty girls' out there not one of them compared to the girl she was kissing last night Spencer thought to herself. Carmen pulled her from her thoughts by passing her a beer and a chaser.

"To forgetting" Carmen yelled as she raised her drink towards Spencer who followed suit. Spencer drank her drink closely followed by a swig of beer to cover the harsh taste of pure whiskey and then headed outside so she could continue with chain smoking like she had done most of the day.

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Ashley couldn't wait to get out the cab mostly because she couldn't take been squashed againsg a door while her little sister and her ex boyfriend made out. She threw some cash at the driver and stumbled out of the car, straigtening herself out as she found her footing.

"Seriously if you two do that all night I'll kill you both" Ashley snapped as she walked towards the club.

"Sorry Ash"Aiden and Kyla mumbled out of courtesy more than genuine guilt.

Ashley held her head high as she entered the club hoping that her new found Ashley Davie's would help stay with her most of the evening. As she strolled around looking for one person inpaticular she couldn't help but notice she was gettng checked out by guys and girls. As flattering as that was and as much as it boosted her ego the eyes looking at her were not the eyes she wanted. Forcing her way to the bar having no trouble getting served and within seconds had three bottles of beer and 4 shots in her hand.

"I don't want a shot" Kyla said just taking a beer.

"Aiden?"Ashley asked handing him a shot which he gladly took without question or encouragement. Ashley down her 3 shots and immediately felt better..for now anyway.

"Maybe you should stay sober"Kyla suggested only to be met by a glare that was rarely scorned with.

"She's not even here so it doesn't matter"

"She's outside smoking with Carmen"

"Jesus Aid do you have her micro chipped?"Ashley laughed as she followed his gaze to the garden area where as predicted Spencer was sat talking to a bunch of people.

"Nope I just know her routine"

"Routine?"Ashley asked not really wanting to know the real answer.

"Yea whenever she comes here, she'll get a beer and some shots, down them, go smoke for half an hour or so while she checks out whose here, the waitress will bring a bottle of tequila over..."Aiden explained just as a waitress walked past with a tray holding a bottle of tequila and shot glasses.

"...she'll drink most of that and then she'll dance"Aiden finished feeling almost smug that he knew her so well.

"Ok how do I break the routine?"Ashley asked desperate for some inspiration.

"I have no idea"

"Well you've just become quite pointless Aiden...well done"Ashley moaned not intending to sound so mean.

"Just go over to her Ash...."Kyla said as if it were that obvious. Ashley swigged on her bottle of beer and mulled over the idea for a few seconds before walking towards the garden. She eyed the girls sat at the table lusting over Spencer who clearly had centre stage and she knew that they were no contest for her.

Spencer spotted Ashley walking towards her and her jaw nearly fell to the ground. Her eyes roamed up and down Ashley's body taking in the short denim skirt that was barely there and the tight wife beater that showed off Ashley's incredible body. Spencer tried to act casually but couldn't stop looking as Ashley stopped at her table. The brunnette nodded towards a spare chair opposite Spencer and flashed her perfect smile that she kept hidden for so long.

"Anybody sitting here?"Ashley asked breaking the silence that only existed between her and Spencer in this moment. Everybody else was in their own conversations and didn't care for the exchange that was about to take place.

"No"was the only word that Spencer could muster.

"I'm Ashley" was all Spencer heard as Ashley shoved her hand out waiting for it to be shook which Spencer did.

"Spencer"

"So Spencer's a weird name for a girl?".

"Weird good or bad?"Spencer asked playing the game.

"Good....I like the name..I used to have a friend called Spencer"

"Used to?"

"Yea I fell in love with her and broke her heart"

"Poor Spencer"

"Yea and then she gave me another chance and I messed up again"

"Why?"

"Because I was a complete idiot....plus depsite what she probably thinks now I do have very little experience with relationships"

"How many relationships you had?"

"There was cute boy that I loved once and then there was Bella"

"Didn't you love Bella?"Spencer asked while taking a shot of tequila to try and numb herself in preparation for the answer.

"In a way I did but I always loved my friend Spencer and when I realised that I still had a chance with her I gave up everything with Bella"

"You gave up everything with her?"

"I just had to know if I had a chance to fix everything I ruined 3 years ago and the guilt of hurting Bella didn't compare to how much I wanted Spencer"Ashley answered honestly never letting her eyes leave Spencer's.

"So was it worth it?"

"I'm still trying to find out"

"Ashley?"

"Yea?"

"Did you really love her?"

"I've loved her everyday for longer than I even want to admit"

"Ashley?"

"Yea?"

"Do you wanna get out of here?"

"More than anything"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Ashley had taken Spencer back to her house knowing that her mother wouldn't be there and that Kyla wouldn't be back for a while. The cab ride there had been pretty much silence on both parts as neither girl really knew what was happening or how they had gotten there. Just as they entered the house Spencer was all over Ashley, hands and lips going a crazy. The passionate assault took Ashley by surprise and she had no idea how to react. After a few seconds of enjoying Spencer being all over Ashley knew that she had to stop it otherwise they would just end up at square one.

"Spence......can....you....just stop"Ashley begged in between kisses.

"I thought you wanted this?"Spencer stated once she was pushed back Ashley again.

"I do...more than anything but we can't just keep fucking for the sake of it"

"Sounds like a good idea to me"

"Well you're drunk Spence"

"I know what I'm doing Ashley...I want to fuck you"

"Please just think about this for a minute Spencer.....less than an hour ago you hated me and now you've drank half a bottle of tequila you wanna jump me"

"It's a girls prerogative to change her mind plus I never hated you...I was just pissed that you lied at me"

"I didn't mean to lie....I just wanted you to like me again so much that everything just got out of hand"

"Ash it's never gonna end"Spencer said as she took a seat on the stairs clearly looking a little worse for wear.

"What isn't?"Ashley asked but she was only met by silence. Guessing that the coversation was over she helped Sepncer to her feet and took her upstairs to her was pretty much past out so Ashley struggled with a dead weight as she tried to undress the taller girl getting a slight groan or curse word from the drunk. After a 10 minute struggle to get Spencer into some sleeping atire Ashley got her into bed and laid down next to her.

"I love you Spencer Carlin" Ashely whispered as she stroked Spencer's hair, gentley kissing her on the lips.

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Spencer woke up feeling as if something had died in her mouth a thousand times over. Feeling the weight on her from another body she squinted in the morning sun hoping that she at least recognised the girl sleeping next to her. Opening her eyes Spencer knew she have no trouble remembering this girls' name as it was the girl that owned her heart and the only girl that she would get mad at because she was the only one she actually cared about. Spencer had no idea how she had gotten into Ashley's room considering she knew that she was pretty mad at Ashley at the moment. Suddenly Ashley's eyes shot open and just stared at Spencer for a while taking her in.

"Erm sorry I fell asleep next to you"Ashley mumbled waiting to be shouted at.

"You don't have to apologise for falling asleep in your own room Ash"

"I was just helping you to bed.....I wasn't having a weird stalker moment"Ashley's comment made Spencer giggle.

"I believe you....erm how did I get here?"

"We chatted at the club...you asked me to leave with you which I did then we got here and you were drunk so I put you to bed"

"I don't remember anything"

"In that case you also forgave me everything that I have ever done to annoy, upset or generally bug you. Plus you also totally told everybody how amazing I am in bed" Ashley added with a smirk.

"Yea that sounds like something I would say"

"You were very convincing"

"Did you get me changed?"

"Well....you looked really hot in that outfit so I didn't want you to ruin by sleeping in it"

"You just wanted to check out my hot body"

"I can't deny that"

"So what did we really talk about?"

"Spence if you don't remember that's fine just talk to me about it when you want to or pretend it didn't happen"

"Cliff notes?"

"It's all down to you Spence....I made my feelings perfectly clear last night"

Spencer tried her best to remember and just couldn't come up with anything which really annoyed her. She had obviously ended up at Ashley's for a reason so she must've forgiven her or at least listened to her.

"And?"

"And I'm going to take a shower because I smell like tequila. You can stay if you want or just call me later....which ever is fine" Ashley said placing a kiss on Spencer's cheek hoping that she wasn't pushing any boundries.

Spencer watched as Ashley made her way to the bathroom slowly removing her clothes as she walked away. Spencer swallowed hard as she watched the sexy brunnette disappear into the other room. Spencer knew that she wasn't as mad at Ashley as she was yesterday but there was still something niggling at her that she couldn't explain. She needed to remember what they had discussed or at least how the evening had ended. Drifting back to sleep as the sounds of the shower soothed her aching mind Spencer had a slight flashback to last night. Just as she fell to sleep she could feel the kiss that Ashley had given her last night before she fell to sleep and the words can booming back to her as if somebody had just shouted them down a mega phone at her. Spencer shot up and headed to the bathroom where Ashley was still in the shower. Spencer disregarded the fact that she was wearing any clothes at all and climb into the shower next to a very confused looking Ashley.

"I remember the best part of last night" Spencer said smiling at Ashley who still looked completely baffled.

"Oh yea?"

"You kissed me when I was asleep and you told me loved me"

"You heard that?"

"Apparently so"

"And?"

"I love you too....I've tried to ignore it, I've tried to forget it with pointless conquests, I've even tried been mad at you for something that I wasn't even that bothered about but to be honest it's undeniable" Spencer explained holding Ashley's hands in her own. Ashley chose not to reply and just kissed the dripping wet blonde. Ashley started removing Spencer's wet pyjamas as the kisses became heavier and heavier.


	17. Chapter 17

I love guys for reading this and commenting...it's very sweet of you all xx This is just a bit of niceness after all the drama.

Chapter 17

Spencer and Ashley spent some time making up in the shower and then a little bit more in the bedroom. They were well and truely in a loved up state and simply couldn't get enough of each other. Spencer glanced over at the girl that had finally one her over and immediately felt at ease for the first time in a while.

"What you thinking pretty girl?"Ashley asked catching Spencer staring into space.

"Just that I don't think I've felt this good in a while"

"Glad I can help"Ashley replied with a smug grin.

"I didn't just mean the sex Ash....I meant us....you....I never thought that I'd be able to be around you without feeling some sort of hurt"

"Me neither Spence but I think this was meant to happen at some point this was bound to happen...like you said it was undeniable"

"I did?"

"Yea when you got in the shower"

"I was just saying words....I was distracted by the hot,naked, wet girl"Spencer joked.

"Miss Carlin I would be offended but it's true"Ashley giggled kissing the blonde getting a moan in return.

"Mmmm Ash?"

"Yea?"

"Do you really love me?"

"Yes....It's always been you Spencer Carlin and that's not going to change"

"So what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?...well evening"

"This"

"I need food"

"Then we'll order in or we have a fully stocked kitchen down the stairs...I'm sure I can rustle something up"

"Erm maybe we'll order in"

"Why?"

"Because you can't cook"

"Yes I can"

"No you can't...I've experienced you're cooking and it was horrifying"Spencer with as much drama as she could muster.

"When?"

"You don't remember?"Spencer asked feeling slightly embarrased.

"Should I?"Ashley asked wishing that she could remember.

_flashback_

_Spencer had popped over to Ashley's house on demand as her friend was having trouble in making a birthday present for her boyfriend Aiden. Spencer been the ever reliable friend she was dropped her photography project walked over. As she entered the kitchen when she was called to she couldn't help but laugh when she saw what she assumed was once a kitchen. Ashley was sat on the floor in the middle of the kitchen covered in flour and the sink was full of kitchen bits and bobs._

_"What ya doin?"Spencer asked as she entered the kitchen._

_"Playing cards what does it look like?"_

_"It looks like you've been attacked by a bag of flour which you fought off with everything your kitchen"Spencer replied pointing out the mess that surrounded them._

_"I've just finished making a meal for Aiden and then I wanted to make a cake but the stupid mixer thing went crazy and spat everything at me"_

_"Did you put the lid on?"_

_"Lid?"_

_"I'm guessing not....do you want some help?"_

_"I didn't ask you here to mock me"_

_"Hey Im not the one that through flour over you so asked nicely or I'm leaving you alone"_

_"Ok I'm sorry Spence will you please help me?"Ashley begged using one of the best weapons she owned: her puppy dog eyes. _

_"That's so not fair.....ok...I'll help"_

_"Yay"Ashley yelled as she jumped onto her feet pulling Spencer into a hug. As Spencer enjoyed the embrace she couldn't help but notice a strange smell coming fromn the oven._

_"Ash?"Spencer said without pulling away._

_"Yea?"_

_"What's in the oven?"_

_"SHIT"Ashley removed herself from hugging Spencer and darted over to the oven yanking the door open to be met by a never ending cloud of black smoke. Ashley picked up the tray throwing it on the top of the oven while trying to protect her face from the smoke._

_"Ash...you're supposed to remove the plastic from around the chicken"Spencer pointed out._

_"Fuck...I've ruined it"Ashley moaned as she slumped down the cupboard. Spencer took pity on her friend and took a seat next to her._

_"I'll help you do something else if you like?"Spencer offered nudging a smile out of Ashley._

_"I feel so dumb...I mean who leaves the plastic on a frickin' chicken?"_

_"You do apparently but you're not dumb Ash....you should probably just stay out of the kitchen fron now on"_

_"So do you wanna help me make a cake for Aiden?"_

_"Ok but please don't cause any damage especially to me"Spencer agreed getting back on to her feet and pulling Ashley back up._

_"Ok but before we get started will you do something to help me feel better?"Ashley asked with a sly smile creeping on her face._

_"Maybe...what is it first?"_

_"Well Miss Carlin I feel pretty damn stupid covered in all this flour..."Ashley explained as she slowly moved towards the counter that the bag of flour was on._

_"Ash don't you dare"Spencer yelled as she caught on to what Ashley was thinking but it was too late. the bag of flour that had made Ashley a whole new shade of white was flying through the air covering Spencer in a white powder. Ashley giggled insanely as she chased Spencer around the kicthen until the tables were turned and Spencer grabbed the soda spray bottle signalling her intentions by squirting some in Ashley's direction. Spencer started the chase trying the avoid the large patches of flour and water finally getting close enough to Ashley to completely soak her. Spencer ran out of water so she had to resort to her final weapon....tickling. Ashley wiggled as Spencer straddled her causing her to squirm with the never ending assualt of tickles. Ashley managed to grab both of Spencer's arms which bought an end to the tickle attack. Ashley stopped wiggling and stopped to breathe while still holding on to Spencer's arms. The gap between the two girls was less than a few inches, they were so close they could feel one another's breathes on the their faces. _

_Spencer's heart felt like it was going to jump through her chest or just stop from sheer pressure. Spencer had never looked at her friend from this angle before and the sensations that she was feeling was something completely foreign to her. She noticed that Ashley her friend of over 10 years had tiny golden specks in her dark brown eyes, something that would become a permanant fixture whenever Spencer was around. Spencer had no idea why but she a very intense need to kiss the girl who had been her best friend for so long but she was stopped in her tracks by a lloud cough from the other end of the room. The trance was broken and both girls jumped out of their skins._

_"You kicking her ass again Spence?"Aiden asked with a slight giggle knowing that his two best friends were always play fighting one way or another so this was no shock to him._

_"Soemthing like that"Spencer mumbled as she jumped off Ashley feeling like she had been caught doing something much worse._

_"We...um...flour and water equals a lot of mess"Ashley blurted out looking as guilty as Spencer felt._

_"Apparently so"_

_"I'm gonna go"Spencer interrupted suddenly feeling the need to retreat from this uncomfortable scenario and mostly from the feelings that were pumping through her veins at this moment in time._

_"But what about you know?"Ashley asked her obviosuly not wanting to ruin the surprise for Aiden._

_"Go to a shop Ash...you shouldn't be legally allowed in a kitchen"Spencer joked half heartedly as she exited the room._

"You promise you won't laugh?"Spencer asked knowing that she can probably tell Ashley anything at this point.

"Pinky"Ashley said waiving her right pinky in the air.

"Ages ago you were trying to cook a meal and a cake for Aiden's birthday....."

"I got you to come over, we had the flour and water fight then we almost kissed"Ashley interrupted knowing the day off the top her head as it was one of her favourite Spencer moments.

"You remember?"

"Of course I do, you were straddling me and you were wearing a white top that had gotten wet from the soda water"

"Perv"

"Why do you remember then?"

"Because it was when I realised that I liked you as more than a friend and when I realised the gold flecks in your eyes"

"Gold flecks?"

"You've never noticed them?"

"I don't spend much time staring into my own eyes Spence"

"That's a lie"

"Mean"

"Ok....I noticed when ever you were or are around me you used to get these golden flecks in your eyes that you never had when Aiden was there"

"You're amazing"Ashley said kissing Spencer


	18. Chapter 18

Once again sorry for the mammoth delay with the updates but this one is nearly done now. Thank you for all the kind words and for sticking with me. Enjoy.

Ashley and Spencer had managed to lock themselves away from the world for 2 days and they knew now that they would have to emerge at some point otherwise they would end up the side of a milk carton somewhere. As Ashley got out the shower she overhead Spencer on the phone talking to who Ashley assumed was a friend. Ashley decided to have a sneaky listen in case she was saying anything about her.

"_I know…I'll be back soon. Just cover for me in class and I'll pretend there was a family trauma or something. Alright….yes....see you soon" _Spencer finished her conversation and dropped the phone on the bed letting out a long sigh.

"You're meant to be back at college?" Ashley finally said after keeping quiet for too long. Spencer jumped a little and smiled as she saw Ashley stood in her towel.

"I've only missed a couple of days Ash…don't worry"

"Spence I don't want you to mess up anything because of us"

"You trying to get rid of me already Davies?" Spencer replied trying to keep the mood light hearted.

"Never….I just don't want to hold you back from anything"

"If I go back though I'll miss you and this has only just started plus you only just moved back here from LA" Spencer replied glumly as she finally admitted to herself why she hadn't left when she was supposed.

"Spence, do you know why I moved back to Youngstown?" Ashley asked sitting next to Spencer on the bed.

"To spend time with your Mom?"

"God no….ugh I promised myself I would never tell you this but I moved back to get you or at least to be your friend again. So if you're in L.A than that's where I'm going to be because I love you and I'll follow to fucking Tibet if I have to" Ashley said getting a huge smile from Spencer.

"What about Kyla?"

"She's going to college this year so she wouldn't be around anyway. Stop making up reasons for me not to come unless you don't want me to?"

"Of course I want you to Ash….it's just I don't want to make you feel like you have to"

"Spence we have covered this I would be there if we were together or not so it's no problem plus I already have like 3 houses there so I can stay there while I work on my music and then you can stay me when you're not College or whenever you wan to"

"Ashley Davies when did you become so selflessly awesome?"

"About the time I realized that I had to have you in my life and that I would do anything to get that" Ashley confessed kissing Spencer knowing that everything was going to ok no matter what. Ashley knew that they could get through anything from now on because she had known for a while that she was ready to love Spencer.

The thought of what Ashley had suggested scared Spencer half to death because of how she had treated her previously but Spencer couldn't hold on to her hurt feelings any more especially when Ashley was so perfect in so many ways.


End file.
